A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I am supposed to be going on this date with a guy this weekend, but the thing is he knows my ex bf. They were kind of friends I guess you could say. So I am wondering if you think that he would mind that my ex is one of his "friends". Im not sure if he knwos because I never mentioned it to him and I dont think my ex bf ever did because for the whole time we dated, he never once spoke to this new guy I want to date. They used to play for the same sports team back in school days, so thats how they know each other. I dont think they are close friends who hang out all the time, as like I said above, they never once spoke during the time I dated my ex. However, my ex bf would try to make out that him and this new guy were best friends like he does with everyone. I am also a bit worried that if my ex finds out that Im dating this guy that he knows that he might say something mean about me thats not true. My ex seems to have anger towards me still for no good reason considering hes the one who ended it. What are your thoughts on this situation?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 I think you should casually mention who you've dated in the past, so that your date knows about your ex. I think that would be only fair to him, if you're aware that they know each other. It may be that your ex is just trying to keep you from being happy, dating anyone, getting on with your life.
If you tell this potential date ahead of time about your ex, you'll be able to defuse any potential gossip your ex might try to tell the date. You could laugh a bit wryly, and say something like, 'Oh, we had a bad break up and I think he might try to spread negative rumors about me.'
So then if your ex does try this, your date has already been pre-warned about this possibility and will take it with a grain of salt. Or even better, a shaker of salt.
Good luck and have fun on the date!
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