A
male
age
30-35,
*alshie93
writes:So I'm going through a shit time at the moment.My ex girlfriend said she needs time to think about me and her getting back together. However, in that time of her thinking we have been talking and that, and she is in two minds and doesn't really have a definite answer for me.Now this really pisses me off and I have been on here for advice and everyone has said to just get on with it and not to talk to her and that.However, when I am not speaking to her her and giving her this space and time she needs to think, she has started to talk to my friends and that.Originally they were all fighting my corner for me, reassuring her that giving me a second chance would be the right thing to do. However one boy who doesnt have a girlfriend has continued talking to her.She has said stuff like "thanks for being there for me" and by the looks of it she is talking to him instead of concentrating on what I have said to her, concentrating on how helpless I feel and that I love her.It feels shit. In a perfect world I wouldn't doubt that he was just talking to her, but I feel myself getting angry and jealous, angry because if he is talking to her, then she isn't getting the time to think about what she is missing and rather she could get by going with someone else and forgetting me.I really do not like the fact that he is talking to her about me or that she is confiding in him or asking him things. He isn't a particularly close friend, and I can feel myself losing this battle, like I don't have a choice.I don't want to speak to her now, I want to wait for her to approach me and speak to me and then allow her to miss me being there.I don't know what to do.I am at the same party she is at next week, so do I go there and talk to her or wait for her to come to me?I'm not texting her or calling her at all, I don't want her to think I am there as an object for her to keep close. I want her to come back for another go at us, but right now, I have no hope because of this jealous nagging feeling she is just talking to other boys as comfort to try and maybe fill that gap.
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male
reader, Viajante  +, writes (28 November 2010):
The title you gave to the question already betrays that YOU are the one who isn't using your time wisely. Advice for life: When you decide to break up with someone, BREAK UP and don't look back. Getting back together without a good reason is a waste of time.
You should move on. Hard truth to hear, but you should. I mean, why is it that she only uses her time wisely if she is thinking of getting back with you?
A
female
reader, BB_Sweetie  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 I'm sorry to say this but, it seems you love her but she's moving on, slowly but quite surely she will begin to fall in love with this other boy, I'm very sure she might still have feelings for you but at this point she's been thinking on which of you both to choose, again I'm sorry to say it, but I used to be in the same situation so I know how it feels. I think you should talk to her and let her tell you what she's thinking(sorry boy, its the only way to get the straight up truth)
If she doesn't want to talk about it, well then the only option is to break up with her because she has fallen for another, if she tells you an honest, good reason(not the "I'm still thinking about things) Well there is a possibility she wants you to be there for her, if she goes back to the same "I need more time thing" (depending on how long it was) then break up is your only option. But don't be harsh when leaving if you decide to, us girls can be very fragile and even one who has never had thoughts of suicide can have these thoughts during this process, be carefull and think of what you say, choose your words softly and patiently and tell her you will still be there for her in a time of need(that doesn't have to do with going back together).
That's my best answer, and this is cming from a girl whom has gone through this situation, but do what you feal like doing, hopfully by following my advice everything will go well, goodluck~ from:-BB
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