A
female
age
36-40,
*ikaristar
writes:I literally just woke up from one of the most confusing dreams I've had in a very long time. I remember it vividly. ***I was at a flea market with my cousin and his wife. I get a call to my cellphone and it's my ex boyfriend. He tells me "I know its been four years and I'm sorry for all that I did but guess what? My family and I are coming out to visit you" in my dream I start smiling, I'm beaming with joy, I'm just so happy, so excited. That's the only way I can describe it. Well he manages to come down to where I live. The problem is I'm with my fiance. In real life and in my dream. For some reason, we're at my grandmother's house, my mom's mom. The grandmother I was closest to. He comes in the front door and right away I shoot up from the couch and run over and hug him. I start crying and asking him if its real, he replies "yes, its me baby, I'm here" my mom comes over and embraces him. Things are so happy. Then ... I hear a voice from my grandmother's old bedroom. My fiance. My mom stays with my ex in the living room while I walk to my grandmother's room, my fiance is on his computer like always and starts complaining "Why is he here? You should have told me, he was coming, yet you keep it from me" he's angry, he's upset. In that moment I start to feel guilt. I tell him I didn't plan on my ex coming over, yet somehow he knew that I was informed of my ex coming to visit. He gets up and storms out of the house through the back door. I head out of my grandmother's room to the kitchen where I find my ex in tears. I move over and embrace him ask him whats wrong, he replies "I'm too late, I've lost you" I am in immediate tears I tell him he's not too late. I pick up the phone and dial his mother.I tell her in tears that I need her over so I can talk to her, that I need her help. She tells me its alright, she will be there soon. After I get off the phone, I notice that my fiance is back in my grandmother's room on the computer and he's researching things on my ex. Bringing up the past, where my ex and I went, how long we were together all sorts of things, but mainly my ex's faults. My ex starts telling him "I may have done what I did, which I regret, but I have always treated her right and made her feel loved, unlike you, who always puts her down, be littles her, and doesn't make her happy. It's my I'm here, for her, to protect her, from you" He storms into that room and then the two start to fight, in that time, my ex's mother appears in the kitchen she goes and sits with my mother at the table and then looks to me "Have you made you decision?" before I can answer, I wake up.***In reality I'm with my fiance, we've been together its going on four years this march. I was with my ex boyfriend from 2001-2006, he broke up with me 3 days before I was going to go out and visit him for our usual summer vacations. He broke up with me, slept with his ex and then wanted me back after he realized his mistake. A year after that break up I got together with my fiance. Here is a bit of background with my relationship with my ex boyfriend and then with my fiance.My ex and I met online back in early 2001. January I think. I was going on 15 when we made our relationship official. He was always there for me, and at times I was a bit clingy but I was young, I didn't understand, I just knew I wanted him there always. And he was for the most part. Sure at times we'd have our ups and downs, but every relationship goes through that. We stayed together for five long years. In 2004 around christmas time, he told me he was going to stop at San Antonio for an hour because he had to catch his flight to go see his father, but he did stop we met for the first time in 3 years. It was amazing, I was so happy. In 2005, May to be exact, he called me with a surprise "I'm going to be your date for Prom" I couldn't believe it, he was making that trip out to see me to be my date for prom. He came down and stayed for 3 days. Those three days were nice. We spent those three days in my room, he was always playing video games I was always by him. We were kids, we were still growing up. In July of 2005 a few months after graduation he surprises yet again, a ticket to go out there and spend a few months with him. I go and have the time of my life, it was amazing. I just remember crying and just heart shattering pain when I left him earlier than planned, but I had to return home, my mom got sick. In 2006, may 28th to be exact. he called me and told me "I'm sorry, but I no longer love you, its over" and that was the end of it. He didn't listen, didn't answer my calls. I later find out, a few days from the day of our breakup. That he left me, to sleep with his ex girlfriend, she uses him for sex just once then leaves. He then tries to get back with me, but my heart is too shattered I don't let him.Now onto my fiance: I met him online in February 2007. It started off nice, we would talk a lot, we'd watch anime and tv shows together. Our friendship bloomed into a relationship by April 2007. We talked and talked, it was great, he was a lot of fun. Summer of 2008 he calls me and tells me "Honey, I just got into a fight with my dad, if I don't leave the house and another fight breaks out, I'm going to jail" its around 3 in the morning when he calls me, I tell him "You can stay here" he agrees and by August 2008. He's here. The first day he got here was amazing, we laid down, held each other and just talked. The second day, I noticed something different. He wasn't the same guy I had met, he was different. There were differences. Within his first week being here, I noticed we were near complete opposites. We fought a lot during that first month. But we soon put our differences aside. I did what I could to make him happy. I changed who I was, for him. Over the years, we still fight, we still have our differences, but I keep quiet, as much as i can, to avoid arguing. To avoid fighting, he's changed me, who I am, I see that now. But I love him, regardless of all that's happened, I do love him. I'm on eggshells around to him to avoid arguing. A lot of the times when he's not home, I call my ex and cry to him, tell him all that's going on and he's there for me, like he always has been, he helps me through it. But after all that, after everything that's happened in my life thus far. My ex and I haven't broken contact, we've always been there for each other, through the bad times, through the good, with relationships after our break up. He's been through a lot of women and tells me "I've never been able to find a girl that makes me as happy as you have" I can agree but I don't tell him that. At times I want to just tell my fiance to leave, because truly I'm not happy, sure we have our moments our times together where he does make me so very happy. But, we are complete opposites. I'm a very family oriented person, as is my ex. I love spending holidays with my family, my fiance doesn't, he doesn't like to give gifts, he is just ... the opposite! I have never received a gift from him, I have never spent a good holiday with him because he never wants to participate he's always on his damn laptop.Even though my ex and I are still in contact, we've never made the choice to get back together. He's out of his parent's house, I'm not, I stick near my parents to care for them. My ex lives with a mutual friend of ours from our time back in California. She has her own boyfriend and visits him weekly, but the two share a house and expenses. My ex works part time since he can't find a full time job. We're separated, yet still feel strongly for one another. Given my dream, and my history with both men. What is my dream telling me? What should I do? .... I'm so confused.
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broke up, christmas, cousin, ex girlfriend, fiance, get back together, grandmother, his ex, met online, my ex, video games Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (19 December 2010):
 Your dream is telling you to leave ur fiance. Your boyfriend is saying in your dream what u can't seem to say. Does it mean u should get back with the ex? I don't know but I'm not one to recommend getting back with a cheater. The decision I believe is more about being with your fiance or not to be with him. I would say the answer is NOT according to what u have said with your history. U need to be single a while to see what u want. If u get back with ex so be it but don't be alarmed if he cheats again as this is usually a reoccurring thing with a cheater but not always I guess. I would still be single a while as going from one thing straight to another is a mistake most of the time.
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