A
male
age
30-35,
*ean.atkinson0
writes:My question involves abit of a background so here goes, I have been with this girl for three year we met in high school and were extremely close we did everything, and were madly inlove we went to the same college, and always were staying over at each others house, but we did have other friends and hung out with them, but she said she preferred to be with me because I was her best friend and he enjoyed it more at the start of this year here mum decided to move back to new south whales 2000km away, and my girlfriend broke it off saying that it would be easier for me, but I didn't mind doing long distance relationship because I'm crazy about being with this girl we always talked about or future together jobs, buying our first house (as we lived together for 6 months before her moving)kids even, I went and seen her in this other state in Febuary and we were extremely close still the sex and everythig was just amazing, and we both got upset, when I had to leave, But now it things have changed she keeps saying she isn't in the right head space for a relationship, and that she can't do it, but will when we can live in the same state again in two years time when I finish my apprentership, ( even though she works) she constantly makes up the excuse of not being able to afford meeting me half way for the weeked to just stay in a nice hotel, and just keep what we have alive?! What has happened?! Why has her feelings of togetherness changed?! And do I give up? Am I being used, how can something so serious and pashonate just end because her family moved away?! When she knew we could afford to fly her there regularly to see them,?!, I dont understand what changed an I don't know whether to give up or hold on?!?! Please help
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male
reader, dean.atkinson0 +, writes (9 June 2011):
dean.atkinson0 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, I'f she couldn't make the effort I'm not going to waste my time yeah Im young but I know what I want in my life, i have a goal and I'm not going to waste my time with what turns out to be a immature girl who I thought was Alot more mature, than what turns out, funny how people can change at the blink of a eye, when they could have it all.
A
male
reader, idoneitagain +, writes (8 June 2011):
You can only keep up the relationship if both of you agree to it, and she does not. You cannot make her decision for her, she has to do that, and if she decides she doesn't want to have a long distance relationship, you cannot have a one sided relationship.
She may find it too hard to have the person she loves so far away, that she might feel she needs to let you go until you can both live in the same place. Some people do not like to focus all their energy into relationships with people who are not present, rather to put their energy into relationships with people who are there every day. She may also want to experience other relationships, which is normal for people of your age, that is a reality of life.
It is up to you how you want to focus your love and attention, if you want to spend it on her while she is away, or on people in your life who are present and able to return your love and attention. There are ways for you to do both, in a sense, but only in a way that suits you both. You will find what is best for you, but understand that the distance has changed the nature of your relationship.
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