A
female
age
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*andy4
writes: Ok, so I like this guy at work (but we work at different companies and only see each other 3-4 times a week) and we exchanged Christmas cards with each other. He gave me his 1st, then I gave him mine. He gave me a small coffee gift card and both of us used the pet names we called each other in the cards we gave each other but stupid me attached a note that said call me sometime to hang out but at least I did not write my phone number in it. The next time we saw each other,(a couple hours later)He said sure, we'll go out for some beers sometime but he didn't ask for my number. So the next two days I made sure I made myself not be so available and then Christmas day and my day offs came and now it's been a total of 5 days since I've seen him. On Monday though, most likely I will and now I'm nervous that he will think I'm mad at him because he didn't ask for my number and that was the reason I wasn't around. I know he saw me a couple of times, but like I said, I went the other way to kinda avoid him, it was hard to do but I just felt I needed to do this. Does any one out there think he may be thinking this? please give me something witty to say to him after not seeing him in the last 5 days to let him know (or at least think) that I don't care if he gets my number or not or...even better...make him see what he can have if only he wants to. hehehe. Thanks to all!
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female
reader, candy4 +, writes (2 January 2010):
candy4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so I was acting childish about this guy, I admit it. So I decided to take all the confidence I could muster up and be an adult so I gave him my phone number and even asked him if he would like to go to a New Year Party and meet some new people. He smiled and said well I'm really flattered but no, not really, I probably will walk to the corner with my brother and have a few beers close to home, New Years isn't a big thing to me. I then asked him if he is a man of his word and would ever call me in a jokingly type voice and thats when he gives me this pathetic story about how he's been sorta seeing someone who gets along just fine not seeing each other but every few weeks or so and don't talk sometimes for about 5 days. Well It wasn't like I was asking for any further explanation or a lifetime commitment from him but he made me feel like he thought I wanted to attach myself to him just because I gave him my number and asked him to a party. Did I do the wrong thing? This guy has been coming on to me and showering me with attention for the past two months now! I really felt that we were becoming friendly with each other especially after the christmas card exchange in which we practically wrote the same messages inside. I wonder if he really is seeing anyone or if it was a lie. I've never heard him mention anyone in his life, he always makes it a point to say he is alone every day and on thanksgiving he made sure I knew he was alone all day and it was boring so he just caught up on his sleep and went hunting the next day. He always says "I'm a single cat you know" well whatever it did hurt when he said that and I only replied "Awww Thats too bad, well maybe another time then" which I didn't think was too bad of an answer plus I made sure I was smiling and not upset but inside I was. I'm not upset about it too much today though as I ended up having a great time at this party even though I was rejected.
But now because we work somewhat around each other and do run into each other about 10 times per week I really hope it doesn't become awkward between us. Is it possible to try and get back that attention and flirting thing we had before? Also after I gave the phone number and asked him out, I saw nothing of him at all the next day. Do you think he was avoidng me? How can I make this situation not feel awkward now when I do see him? I probably will just act the same way I always do as this probably would be the best thing, just acting myself. the way I did since the beginning of all this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): How old are you, really ???Men are interested in Woman NOT games or witty puzzles.If you are honestly interested in the man you need to say so. If not, you will continue to be alone. In their teen's and twenties,, men 'sorta' put up with games,, usually by mid late thirties,, they've completely outgrown the games.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (27 December 2009):
Candy, are you really aged 41-50? Come on now. You are playing a game as if you are 13 or something. You don't need to say something funny. Just say what you mean.
If you like him, and want a chance to be with him .... tell him!
You didn't give him your number. So, how can he possibly call you? Oh wait, he is supposed to ask for it? And he didn't ask, so you avoid him! Silly games .....
I have been with the same woman for 17 years and have never considered being with anyone else in that time. But women I meet, who might take a liking to me, they don't know that, so guess what? They take a chance. They come up and ask me things, and just strike up a conversation. That way, in minutes, they know if they have a chance with me or not.
You work with this man. YOU gave HIM a note. But no number. So, if you want to be considered as a serious contender, give him your number, or ask for his. He won't think you are mad at him, but don't over-think the whole situation. Take action. Stop wasting time.
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