A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey lovely Agony Aunts, I've wrote a few times about my Marine (ex) boyfriend.. quick background: we started dating this summer, I couldn't have been more excited, everything was PERFECT. He went back to his base and everything fell apart. He stopped calling, texting, we only had meaningful conversations when he was drunk. I know he still loves me, he told me this, and I still love him with all my heart. I forgave his mistakes and the way he treated me because I know there are legit reasons for it and I know he's been through a heck of a lot the past few years. My problem comes in here: I met another wonderful guy a few months ago through a friend. There clearly is an attraction between us, and he treats me like a queen when he's with me, and we're not even together! We talk constantly now (he goes to a different college) through text, calls, and facebook. I invited him to a formal our school is hosting. I can't get him out of my head, and smile the second I see my phone pop up with a new text from him. My ex is coming home for Christmas, and while I've made a serious promise to myself that I won't hook up with him because I refuse to be a girl he doesn't have to put any effort into a relationship with, come home and have it be convenient for him. I've watched him do this twice in the past, and both girls were so head over heels for him, they allowed this to happen. I'm afraid of the feelings that I know will be very apparent between us. However, I don't necessarily want to mess up something with the other boy. Please keep in mind the breakup was civil, he just explained he loves me but knows I deserve someone who can give me more at this time. We both said that if the opportunity arises years from now, a future isn't totally out of the question. While I know I'm always going to love my ex, I can't help having feelings for this new guy.
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female
reader, RM24  +, writes (20 November 2010):
If things didn't work out with your ex, then it was for a reason. You don't want to look back on this in the future IF things don't work out with you and your ex and regret missing an opportunity with this new guy. At the same time, things aren't guaranteed to be amazing with this new guy in a relationship but you definitely should have more hope with him than your ex. Good luck!
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