A
male
age
30-35,
*awaii23
writes:Hi guyz! First of all im an asian guy currently living here in ireland..Lives in Japan before.. My moms a half japanese nd half korean and my dads half filipino and half spanish thats why i em blessed with these gorgeous cute face and body..as i em been told by this girls and cause me trobles.I love the fact that girls digs me but i cant take it anymore!My life ruined when i came here in ireland a year ago.. Im in a boys school in japan before so i dont have the chance to meet girls but now im now on a mixed school...My problem is girls in my class disturb me in and out the school..They flirt with me during class talkin to me and giving me notes which is embarrasing because other students in my class staring at us and laugh.. During lunch break while im with my freinds these girls will just make some public affection, kissing and pinching my cheek which im not really use to because we dont do that in japan especialy when you dont know the person that much..Im also on my leaving cert year (an exam you need for colleges) which i think im going to fail because i cant concentrate during class because of these girls nd also the fact that im not really good in english..I need advice on how to deal with these problem but i dont want to be snubbish or anything like that cuz im a nice guy nd very friendly..I really need help now..
View related questions:
flirt, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (29 January 2009):
 Right well now the ball is in your court and it really is up to you whether you ask her out of not. Don't sit on the fence waiting for things to happen, be proactive and you will be surprised about the outcome sometimes.
Keep us posted OK.
BFN
Country Woman
A
male
reader, Kawaii23 +, writes (28 January 2009):
Kawaii23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just tlked to my bestfriend nd says hes cool with it that i like that girl too... U just dont know how relief i em!
Thks country girl!
...............................
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (28 January 2009):
I think you need to put your friend in the picture about how much you like this girl as you don't want to step on toes and lose a good friend but just be honest with him.
He may really value you as a friend and so texting and calling each day can be common, depends on how you feel he is around you I guess. He has shown interest in a girl so he is obviously very hetrosexual so he is just being friend.
As Cerberus has said he found the attention very annoying and it wasn't until he got the girlfriend that this changed for him, I think talk things through with your best friend and lay your cards on the table. Honesty is always the best policy in my books, if you go behind each others backs it will only sour your male relationship and could potentially ruin your friendship.
If he is a good friend he will understand your feelings and being attracted to the same girl only means that you both have good taste I guess so that means you are on the same wave length.
Good luck and keep us posted OK.
BFN
Country Woman
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): I had the same problem, I'm half dutch and when I moved to Ireland girls were all over me in school it was fun but annoying.
I didn't read the other two posts because they're very long and I know those posters give good advice, but I found a really simple solution to my problem.
I got a girlfriend, that simple really, Irish girl's are quite territorial, well mine was and she kept all the others at bay. Probably helped that she was the alpha female of my class.
...............................
A
male
reader, Kawaii23 +, writes (28 January 2009):
Kawaii23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTnk you so much for the advises!
I really appreciate it
Three other things i have a problem with
1. Em turning 18 nd planning to have a girlfriend
I have a huge crush on this girl (nobody knows it) nd planin to ask her for a date but im afraid on how this girl would react.. Images like threating my crush in a bad way are coming to my head.. On the good side like what country woman said, these girls might leave me alone.. Its difficult to choose!
Should i date her or not?
2. My bestfriend of a year told me a week ago that he likes this girl so much but this girl was one of the girls im talking about.. I dont want to lose a friend just because of a girl.
2. Is it normal for a GUY friend to be VERY friendly around me, call & text me everyday?
...............................
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (28 January 2009):
I have to say that I totally agree with Irish49 on this one, you can't turn off your magnetism over night.
You need to make your tutors aware of what is going on or perhaps go and talk to the principal/head teacher so that he/she can convey this to the other teachers at maybe their next meeting.
If the girls see you purely with guys then they think you are available, maybe you need to be seen with a girl for them to back off as they then know that you are with someone. Do you have any female friend who you trust and respect and who wouldn't mind being seen with you. Girls will feel jealous but the attention may slacken off until you are ready to pursue someone.
The Japanese culture is extremely respectful and very committed and other countries especially very Western cultures are totally different. Yes girls are much more forward as they don't wait around to be asked but there are some girls who are quiet and not in your face all the time.
Your obviously an attractive guy and whilst it is a curse right now, it will pay dividends in the long run. However, what I would say is try to keep your feet grounded as there are plenty of pretty people in the world but once girls show the attention they turn into show offs and also people who have very little emotion for other people's feelings, don't turn into one of those eh! I think you are already a different kind of guy so just ask for help and also think about the dummy girlfriend but one who is willing to help you whilst you are studying hard for your exams. If you decide after the exams that you are interested in a particular girl then you just make it known that you came to a mutual decision to part as you had grown apart and not that YOU dumped her or her YOU.
Just a thought that's all.
BFN
Country Woman
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): Any young guy would give his 'eye teeth' to be in your position. And it's pretty tough to unpopularize yourself. Unless of course, you want to change schools and move to an all boys school--you may just have to teach yourself to 'detach and ignore' these adoring females as much as you can, in a nice way. . And yes, it's not easy.
Let your teacher's know that it's hard to concentrate in classes due to the attentions of these girls. Maybe the teachers can find a quieter place for you, away from them. But do let your teachers know this is bothering your focus in class.
Ask your guy friends to meet you in a 'special place' at lunchtimes and breaks, to visit where these females can't hunt you down and bother you.
Or...you may just have to approach these girls calmly, and politely ask them to 'give you study space' while you are in class or when you are with your friends. But compromise...let them know, you can talk to them after classes or at breaks. at specific times. But please, keep making good, wise choices to hunker down in class. Your educational future is important to you and I commend you for thinking of that. So you can't unpopularize yourself...but you can set nice boundaries and hopefully they will respect that. It will take great willpower, but I know if you focus on work, the girls will eventually take the hint, and perhaps, move onto some other young man they can 'crush' after.
Good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): Politley let them no your not interested! If they dont understand...oh well!
...............................
|
