A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,my problem is i cant get over my girlfriend being sexually abused up until she was 14 by her sick f_ck uncle. i got her to seek therapy and i have been the main person in her healing and recently she has told me that i have taken away all the hurt she has ever felt from him, which is amazing...but i cant seem to get over it, this girl means the world to me, i went to the police about this man, he lives in broken hill NSW australia but as i am in QLD, the police cant do anything. so if anyone wants to go on a rampage, start there, i really feel like typing his name but i cant. how do i get closure from this? my girlfriend will have her scars from cuts forever. he lives life normally. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 what if what if what ifwhat if he gets 5 ears in prison and is a registeed sex offender for the rest of his life and everyone will know about.they can do something about it. they are just lazy fucks like the US police.You have to push and push until you get what you want.Be there for your irlfriend in the meantmes. I was going through the same thing with this one woman. However i was nothing compared to you. She has gotten over it for the most part. Just be there for her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni admit i have tried praying its just every time i try to pray i end up crying too much. ill give it another go. its hard to have faith in much anymore. thank you though ill try. about taking him to court, what if he gets let off with only a restraining order and he wont be allowed to be near playgrounds. thats hardly fair.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (10 April 2010):
Man, that is rough, and I've been in a similar situation that ended up causing ME alot of pain and problems. My ex-wife had a HORRIBLE relationship with her mother, and right after we met is when it started (has nothing to do with me, her parents liked me...). But, the result was that I saw her mother doing and saying horrible things to her and destroying her emotionally. It was horrible to see, and I would spend hours helping her put herself together after they'd had a 5 min phone call.The result was that I built up a hatred for her mother. THEN they worked things out (it took a long time) but since I'd not worked things out, I still hated her mother.Then my attitude became the problem... I just couldn't forgive this old bitch who'd hurt the woman I loved.We later divorced, the issue with her mother was not a factor- my ex had other issues with I still believe were related to her screwed up upbringing...But, years later I learned a technique that I could use to release pent up rage, anger and resentment that I was holding on others. What I learned what that I was ripping myself up with hate, while the person I was so mad at had NO IDEA anyone was mad at him, and was living a happy life.The technique that was taught to me (and I was skeptical, but in enough pain to try anything) was to simply pray for this person every night before bed. I was told that if I could do this for a month that I would be able to release this resentment.The first night was weird, I didn't want to do it, but I was suffering, so I did. The next few nights were easier, and by a little more than a week, I'd actually shifted to praying for him as he was a sick person. A couple of nights later I had let it go...Now, what I'm not going to tell you is that the heavens opened and god took care of this. IMO, the simple act of thinking about the situation via a prayer did the trick. The important thing as this technique solved my issues. FYI: I'm not religious, nor do I go to church. All I know is that I'm not in charge of the universe... Life is very good today! Please address this, as it sounds like you've got a great lady in your life, and the only bit of toxic waste left is the pain you've taken on as a result of her abuse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsalt in the wounds or let him walk free? i really cant decide, is there some way i can let it go? it doesnt seem possible though, thanks for your advice.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (10 April 2010):
 Can't you call the Broken Hill Police instead? It's the arse end of nowhere so it is not like he would be able to hide out from them there or anything.That said,this is really your girlfriends choice. She is doing well in her healing by the sounds of it and making a legal matter out of it (even tho he deserves to get thrown in jail)could be putting salt in the wounds and setting her back. She will do it one day if she is ever ready. Perhaps you tho should do a session with her therapist about how you are feeling from your side of things. It might be healing for you too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): this is a tough situation for anyone to be in. the fact that she told someone about it and actually has gone through therapy is a huge step. you've already done the necessary bit.
im not sure of the degree of the abuse but if it was penetration then you should inform people immediately. don't let this man walk freely. u have to give your girlfriend support and make sure she is strong enough not to back down when you do this. if u have an adult whom u can trust and who will help you, u should use their help. and the therapist will be a sort of witness as well, so u should do it.
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