A
male
age
30-35,
*agmc1
writes:well I've been my girlfriend for almost 4 years. she's 21 I'm 20. We're great together and are happy with each other. but her parents are the control obsessive type to the point where they constantly call her to know where she is at all the time and need to cover every aspect of her life from school to her money, work, and now her love life with me. i've always known they haven't been too crazy about me...but it seems they just hate me now to the point of not wanting to have my name mentioned and i'm not allowed over. Mainly mad over finding out we've been having sex. Almost a year ago.. Well just last night while they were out of town she snuck me over to her house late at night... her little brother, overheard me coming in and tattled on her and gave her parents a call. and i had to run out of her house.. Later her parents threatened that her she couldn't see me anymore while she lived under their roof. i would ask her to move in to my house, but i still live with my overly-religious mother who doesn't believe its right for us to live together out of wedlock..she loves me and we've talked about marriage but we're both still in school not fiscally stable. what should i do? i love her and she said to wait for her until she moves out and i will... but i know that isn't going to change her parents mind about me.. another part of me just wants her to be happy even if that means letting her go completely... and another part just doesn't care and feels like speaking my mind and talking to her parents for being so stupid and pig-headed for being so damn controlling and get some damn common sense and reasoning thru to them... i'm so confused and worried because idk what shes feeling or going on.. what should i do??
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female
reader, It's all be okay  +, writes (27 April 2010):
If you're 20 and she's 21, surely you must be going to finish school in the next year or so? In which case, I would do everything you can to find part time jobs while you finish your studies to earn some money, and to apply early for jobs to take up immediatley on finishing your studies.Then for you to take some kind of lodging, whatever you can afford, so that you can get out of home and have the kind of adult freedoms that you are clearly ready for.And for her to do the same. Ideally, you would move out into separate places - perhaps each of you take a house-share with others of the same age, who won't mind it if there is an occasional stay-over. It's up to you both to decide whether to try to afford this now, or to wait. But her parents do have the right to deny you access to their home and for what goes on in their home. In the long run, if things work out for you and your girlfriend, the parents will soften if they realise that you are a stable, sensible caring man, who takes his responsibilities seriously, and a good catch for their little girl.
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