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male
,
*afemode
writes: Hi,This is a very strange situation for me. A girl was in relation with a guy but this guy she said used to slap her etc etc. She told me all this and I told her that if she thinks its causing her harm then she should break up. In this process of listening and talking to her about her problems she came very close to me emotionally and one day she expressed to me that she loved me.I didn't reciprocate since I didn't fell like falling in love.Then I was out for about 3 months . About 2 months after I left she sort of stopped taking my calls etc. Rarely she would take my calls.On my return it wasn't the same. She blows hot and cold at times. Now she doesn't even take my calls . We work at the same place. I even told her to talk to me if she is having any problem with me.She doesn't even talk to me properly now.Now I am very much emotionally involved with her. Few times I asked her if she wants to break up with me she says "no" but at the same time she doesn't even take my phone calls .I never had a girlfriend in my life.This is the first and I want it to be the last . My mind tells me sometimes as if she is cheating me but heart says she isn't .I am so confused that I cannot find any answers. Can you help me with this situation?
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female
reader, matron +, writes (28 May 2006):
 Hi, it all sounds very confusing to me. Do you actually go out on dates? If she doesn't take your calls how do you plan to meet etc?
It sounds like she has a lot of emotional problems she needs help with before she can get into another relationship. You were there for her when she needed you and she was vulnerable, feeling hurt and sad and you showed her you cared and she clung to that, but when you rejected her she realised she had read all the signals wrong, now she is probably confused as to why you had a change of heart and does'nt know whether to take the relationship seriously and is afraid to get involved. What ever her reasons you need to talk, both of you and be totally honest with each other. Good luck x
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