A
male
age
36-40,
*owercaseq
writes: I am 21 years old. ive been seeing this girl for about a year and a half now . on and off. we started off as friends . tried dating and she gave me the friend talk. I was cool with it because i liked her as a friend alot . and then she got a boyfriend in time . and I was fine with it . then we got really close and went on trips together. Nyc, cruise to the caribbean, and went away around christmas for a christmas holiday trip this place had. GREAT TIMES, GREAT MEMORIES we got serious for a little and talked about marriage and kids and our future. She said she has made some mistakes and im the man shes always wanted . im what she looks for . shes the woman ive been looking for. now shes back to wanting to be friends and wants to date other people randomly. ? she says she isnt interested in anyone. she feels bad for me and says that I should have the experience in dating other people because i might find something i really want instead of just having her. Ive told her my feelings. she makes me feel like im on top of the world. I can do anything if shes by my side, and Ill do anything for her at any cost , and I mean anything. Ive fallen in Love head over heels with this woman . and she got on this trend because she asked me one of those random questions and said . if I happened to get a boyfriend ? would you still talk to me? and I said no . we are friends. we are more than friends. im basically your boyfriend . and you dont want to jump into a relationship because you dont want things to get too serious to fast so you want to take things slow . and if another guy ever came into the picture and you dated him and kicked me to the curb . It would be a slap in my face and I wouldnt talk to you . mostly because it would hurt my feelings. We are best friends. and we are more than friends. its hard to explain. not in a relationship but we mean so much to eachother that we basically are. there isnt a title to it . . now she has it in her head that if a guy got between us and i couldnt handle it and would cut off all ties with us that it must not be worth it . I finally said to her if I cannot finally be in a relationship or if im getting back into a friend type of deal and feelings are leaving that im leaving to. and its best if we dont talk and not friends or anything and not to ever talk . and that this was goodbye . moral of the story is that I am thinking I made a mistake. I dont have many friends as it is. I have a full time job . and bills to pay . I dont have time to party and meet new people very often . let alone someone I can call my best friend. Its hard to be attracted to her and be her friend at the same time if i know there is the possibility of her meeting another guy and I have to be okay with it . and be her friend if she gets hurt and be the shoulder for her to cry on . I thought it was all or nothing for me. I hurt her feelings. I made her cry . I cried i felt so bad. She is my best friend and I cannot live without her. did I make the right decision or should I tell her we can work things out and Ill be there for her no matter what ? Please help . I cannot sleep . and I hate to see the both of us hurting.. thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): she sounds like she's not got any idea what she wants.
& there isn't anything you can do.
i'd give her space, a lot of it. she'll come round i'm sure.
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