A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, i've been with my girlfriend for 2 years.our relationship started from meeting at a festival where she already had a boyfriend(a rebound) from her old one.. i felt really bad about this but the guy she was with didn't seem too bothered, as they were more like just friends than anything and had only been together a month or so. ive always thought this would be a problem, but really afterwards shes been a saint, she just felt connected with me from day one and it's always been that way. and i don't think she'd ever do the same to me, because it's so obvious to me and to anyone whos met us that we love eachother.We had 3-4 months of amazing times at the start, we have always been inseperable since we met and have such a great bond.. i love her crazily, my friends and her friends actually gave us a silly name cos were always together, were both really good with eachothers parents, all our friends are friends. its pretty perfect sept the distance.i haven't really had a serious girlfriend before but i just know shes the one, which is why i'm dealing with this horrible distance(6 hours by train).after that 4 months i went to uni and she stayed at home, which was really really hard, because i got very alone and depressed without her.. but we managed that, struggling along, each break we spent constantly together, we visit eachother like once every 2-4 weeks and it's always amazing. this is why i know it's worth it. she then went to uni as well after that year and it's coming tot he end of her first year.the first week or so she was there she started becoming really weird with me, i tried to give her space cos it was her freshers week but she rang me and texted explaining she was very confsed and wanted a 'break' we text and talk non stop normally, so i was rediculously upset and felt like ending my life.. but i gave her a few days, which to us is a long time without speaking.. it got to the 3rd day of not talking and she started talking to me again and said she was so sorry and felt she was just confused and didn;t know if she could take it being at uni and that she loves me so much, i knew this feeling when i first got to uni, its a really weird kinda time, loadsa drinking, loadsa new people and it all got abit overwhelming, i too had this so i felt it was ok. and after that break it was actually benificial to our relationship.the whole problem we've been together really is my jealousy, she has only a few girl friends, the rest are guys and while shes at uni she goes out with mostly just guys, the year i went to uni, she hung around with my guy friends etc.. i always get abit worried and find it quite weird, but i honestly think she just likes hanging around with guys, she is a big drinker, so i guess it kinda works.its nearly the end of the year now and we have got a massive holiday coming up, 2 months which is always amazing..we've organised for a holiday, to go to my aunties wedding, loads of great things.its her exams and my deadlines(cos i do art) and she went out and ignored me all night.in the morning she said she was sorry and hardly said a word, i was quite annoyed about it asked why she ignored me. she went on to say that she doens't want to tell me about her night when im in that kinda mood, we argued for a few hours and then she ignored me for the day after, today she talked to me and told me not alot again, and said she wanted a 'break' again..i asked her all sorts of questions as to why, is it because of her exams, is she stressed, am i smovering her, has she met someone else, does she want to meet other people bla bla..she said "she doesn't know" and that im overbearing and that she needs some space. im quite confused on what this break is about, before i understood that she just needed space, but she wouldn't answer about meeting other guys she just said "lets see how it goes" "and were just on a break, i think i just need some space" and that shes sorry.i love her crazily, we have planned for me to go abroad with her next year as its part of her course, we've planned to get married, have kids.. i really really couldn't live without her in my life and i just don't understand where this is all coming from! :(ive just been sitting crying/smoking/drinking for the past 2 days and i duno what to do with myself, i do everything for her, all my art, why im at uni is for her... i hate it here, i only hang on because of her and im just so confused and upset.. i know i am quite jealous and annoying at times, but i didnt realise that this arguement was any different to our normal ones, she always says to me that every couple argues and it's fine, but now she says shes "had enough" with my jealousy. i hope that this "break" is the same as before but i honestly don't know whether this is the real deal or not, it seems quite different. i know she loves me, but the distance is unbareably hard, she tells me she doesn't know if she "misses me enough" anymore. we haven't seen eachother in like 5 weeks now and im being reasured that it's just because shes got exams shes stressed and that she probs doesn't wana handle the intensity of our relationship at the moment, but on the other hand im panicing at the idea that something else is wrong.any advice would be much appreciated, cos as it is.. im seriously depressed and i just want her back, and for things to be back to normal.it just seems such a massive waste to throw away all we have.. but it's out of my control.Thanks! X
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni don't know m8, i asked her just before we went on the 'break' if shes wanting just space or she wants to test being 'single' and she said she'd count it as cheating. she is a big flirt, but so am i.. it is uni at the end of the day and distance is a massive strain. im quite sensible when it comes down to this kinda thing.
i'd do anything to be with her, the first break actually helped alot, and im thinking maybe shes doing it again for that reason..? or maybe she really is trying to get rid of me.. which to be perfectly honest would destroy me. my whole life is about her, we text maybe 30-50 times a day, and call every night. my family and her family are all friends, all my home life is spent with her etc. its just crazy to ruin what we have.. she says she wants to be with me forever and normally tells me how much she loves me, calling me all sorts of pet names and stuff ahhh i miss her :( x
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 May 2010):
Break for a second time? She has issues, and it's best to move on now. There will only be a third and a fourth time, and that's assuming she comes back. To be honest, it sounds like she's cheating to me or something given her past.
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