A
male
age
30-35,
*raydenHiz
writes:About a month ago I did what I know I should never do: ask about past lovers. I pried and pried, of course hoping to find that I was her best lover, beating out all the rest.Of course, as everyone knows, little good can come from this vain and naive expedition.She told me she took a guy home from the club one night, was making out, took off his pants and...he was huge. She said around 8 inches. She said it hurt, which I believe, but she also admitted, clearly trying to hide this part, that it also made her finish (orgasm) really hard. She paused for a moment and said "you asked, and I know you wouldn't believe me if I said otherwise," which is true "...I'm not going to lie." I did keep saying, "be honest, be honest." She ended up crying, a lot, she was actually extremely upset when I got upset. She really felt bad.She has told me I'm every bit as wide/thick as the others, can last longer or as long than most of them, and every bit as long as all the other guys, except him. It also often hurts when we have sex, for her. I can also make her finish from sex, and she's said other lovers have been smaller than me and not able to do that...not including that guy. I'm an inch above avg (according to wikipedia) long and around, but I'm no 8 inches.It of course makes sense that she's slept with a guy with a large penis, most girls will at some point. I just cannot shake the feeling that I will never be as good as him. Ever. I fear it's a non-falsifiable point of view as nothing she could ever say would change my mind...but that seems to me to be because it's true. I love her, I do, but this really hurts and if I can't get over it, I fear it will destroy the relationship.What can I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): Dude... get over it.Women don't need a penis of ANY size to orgasm, in fact only like a small percentage of women even orgasm from penetration at all.This is more about your own childish insecurities and superficialities then her past.If she asked if you've ever slept with someone who has a better arse or bigger or smaller tits then her... would saying yes or no affect how you feel about HER?Chances are, no. Even if you had bedded Scarlet Johannson or something, if you loved her, as good as it was, it still wouldn't matter.Same with her. She isn't WITH those other guys. She's with you. She has her reasons for that. Most of which probably relate to the fact that the guy's those dicks were attached to were likely total a-holes.Here's what you can do. Forget her past. Forget her boyfriends. They are not your business. None at all. No more than who you have slept with before your girlfriend is hers.Grow up. You are a legal adult for fuck's sake. Act like one.Flynn 24
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (6 May 2012):
 You are better than the 8 inch guy because it's too big for her and it hurt. Your girlfriend did not say he was the best. This was your interpretation. Your relationship has potential to be long term and you have many years to explore your bodies. Your sex with her today does not stay at that level forever. There is an energy circuit between you two and as you progress in your relationship, the energies get more in sync and they move up. Sex is much more than just thrusting and bang bang. You can be each other's best lovers because you are happy, and you inspire each other. Physical prowess is something that declines with age and you want to have something in the relationship that helps you carry through aging. No martial arts master is going to tell you he is the best because as he gets older the younger ones would win him with greater flexibility and endurance. There is also a misconception that a woman's orgasm is the same every single time with the same guy. It varies in intensity and duration, due to hormones and the state of mind that day. You are already defeating yourself when you should be happy that your girlfriend has the potential to have a strong orgasm, probably with you very soon, while a lot of women have no idea what orgasm is.
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