A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I was curious if anyone had some advice on my current situation.My girlfriend and I started dating about 3.5 years ago while in college. At that time, and for around 8 months afterwards we were very sexually active and our sex drives matched quite well (at least 4-8 times a week). After about 8 months the school year ended and we moved to our respective hometowns about 50 minutes away from each other or so. We made it a point to get together at least 3-4 times a month, and tried to have sex every time we were together.After that summer she left for an internship in Florida (we both live in Michigan) for 5 months. Our relationship became rocky during that time and the distance took a great toll on our relationship. After she had been there for 4 months I took a trip down there for 7 days. During that time we had sex 5 or 6 times, and she conceived a child during that week I was there.She came home a month later and resumed a fairly routine sex life, at least 2 or 3 times a month until about her last month and a half of her pregnancy. After we had our son we moved in together and her sex drive was through the roof for about 2 or 3 months. We were doing things that we had never done before, and the sex was great! After this time her sex drive just crashed. She never wanted to have sex anymore, which took a toll on our relationship once more.My drive and desire was still there, not the 5 or more times a week like it was, but at least a few times a month. Her on the other hand lost it entirely. Sex only occurred when she actually desired to have it, so her needs were being met, but not mine. I would talk to her about this and she would get defensive and it always started fights, no matter how I tried to tell her it didn't matter. She always got defensive and accused me of always trying to force her to have sex (which I never did, however I would say that I have needs and desires too). Regardless, we only had sex when she wanted to (around 4 times over the next 6 months). The sex picked up a few months ago, but then went to 1 or 2 times every couple of months. We have been planning to get married, but I fear that we have become sexually incompatible. Above all else I want to do right by my son. What advice could you offer someone in my situation.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 November 2012):
 yeah it sounds to me like she is depressed. IT may have started with PPD but that left untreated can remain and continue to full blown depression.
I fear that until she allows treatment for that there will not be much you can do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe child care is mainly provided by myself and by my mother. Our work schedule work out nicely so we haven't had to pay for daycare. I take our son in the morning to afternoon at which time my mother comes from work to our apartment and takes over late afternoon till night when I come home from work. My girlfriend doesn't have a job, instead is going back to college full time to work on another bachelor's degree. She mainly takes care of the baby on the weekends when she goes to visit her mom.
Much of the time she leaves myself or my mother to watch our son as she sits on her computer doing "homework", which I was unaware that YouTube and Facebook could be considered homework. If I ask her to help with most anything she gives a big audible sigh and then helps out.
My mom, her mom and myself all seem to believe she has postpartum depression, but I've never heard of it lasting a year and a half (I don't really know THAT much about it.) I was with her once to go to her doctor who wanted to put her on antidepressants, and she flat out refused and will not listen to anyone that tells her she should give them a try.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 November 2012):
Is she possibly depressed?
Is she tired? Because if she's running a home, doing all the child care and possibly holding a job outside of the home, she's tired...
how much are you doing with the baby?
is she working outside of the home?
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