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Girlfriend hiding messages

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2021) 5 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2021)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey!

So my girlfriend have been hiding texts from me. She doesnt mind responding to peoples snaps when Im sitting next to her, but with this one guy, she is waiting until I stand to go do something. I confronted her and she said that she hadnt spoken to him in a long time, so it was long messeges. I told her it was all good (she did get sad because she felt like I didnt trust her which I do).

5 days later, she does the exact same thing, with the same guy. I do trust, but I feel like it's weird behavior.

How should I handle it, if she does the same within a few Days again?

PS. We have been together for almost 7 months.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2021):

kenny agony auntTrust in one of the most important contributing factors that bind a relationship together. If there is no trust in a relationship than in all honesty it does not stand a chance.

The fact that you are on here asking the question is a strong clue that you don't trust her.

Her actions are that of she clearly does not want you to see the correspondence to this guy, this in itself is a huge red flag. If it was all innocent then she would do it in front of you, not wait for you to leave the room.

Who is the guy anyway?. a random guy she just met?. Someone she once knew, en ex?. A FWB she used to know that she is talking to again.

This relationship is still in its infancy, and all ready there are cracks appearing and red flags.

I think i would be inclined to leave this one and walk away and let her get on with texting this guy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2021):

Ok it sounds a bit strange, but it has only happened twice, so maybe it's just a coincidence. If it keeps happening, then that's a problem and I would ask her to show you the message. If she has nothing to hide, she will show you. If shes deleted the messages, that's probably a sign she has something to hide.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2021):

Hi

Early day's and bad problems that will only get worse. I would be more interested in a partner who actually was so busy enjoying and living 'OUR' life, that they had no desire to sit and scroll through other peoples social media and pictures, especially next to me.

Get a partner who is not ignorant and glued to the mobile zombie phone, it's like a disease that just won't go away, just like the problem you are having now. Ask her if she want's a real life and if not, move on.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (3 April 2021):

Honeypie agony auntTry and do the same around her. It can be to your mom or whoever, just glance at the phone, don't answer right away and as soon as she gets up, answer (OR get up to answer where SHE can't see your phone).

I know, I know it's like advocating for playing games, but IF what she is doing is all innocent she will understand that it isn't about trust, it's about noticing a CHANGE in behavior. And not one for the better.

OP, it's ALSO OK to not trust her 100% all the time. You have been together for 7 months, TRUST takes time to build. It also takes behavior that doesn't raise red flags. HER behavior with this ONE guy raises a red flag. Because if he is JUST a friend she hasn't talked to in a while, WHY can't she answer near you?

I will call bullshit on her behavior. The fact that she went on the "offensive" right away with a "you don't trust me" and got "sad"... makes me think what she is doing ISN'T something good.

See how she deals with you DOING the same thing. If she noticed, ask her WHY it rubbed her the wrong way? Why she can do that herself but question you when you do it.

I'd LOVE to hear her answer.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2021):

Dude she's cheating on you. Either emotionally, physically or both. She's playing sad when you call her out because she's playing you.

It's seven months move on before you waste any more time in a relationship that isn't going anywhere.

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