A
male
age
30-35,
*h1p01
writes:Hey all,I am back. SO me and my girlfriend have been going out for 5 months and I love very much and she says she loves me and a believe it. However I cant figure something out. She seems to have a contact issue. I love giving massages and she doesn't seem to like it or want it. She says it tickles sometimes but she just doesn't like it ever. I get that and accept that not all people like massages. But then I have been noticing that she only likes when I hold her hand. Doesn't like when i rub her back or shoulders or put my hand on her knee when we are sitting or anything else. She also told be she only likes kisses on the lips and nowhere else. We also had the first opportunity to share a bed together this pat weekend and I had hopes of snuggling with her because she said she liked snuggling also. I had no other intentions and she knew that and knows I respect her wishes to wait longer. At bed time we snuggled for a while and I started to dose off but then noticed she was wide awake and asked her what was wrong thinking that she felt uncomfortable. She told me that she cant sleep snuggling with me, that she likes it but cant sleep if i was in contact with her. Needless to say we spent the next 3 night awkwardly laying on opposite edges of the bed facing opposite directions so she could sleep....I just want to know if there might be a problem here or if I am reading too much into it. I like to be physical and in contact. I have brought it up and she just says she just doesn't like it. I am her first serious BF and she is a Virgin and has never had a physical relationship before. Advise is welcome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (9 January 2012):
 In the great span of your life, 5 months isn't that long. You're going to live for what, 80...100 years? 5 months of that loooong amount of time isn't much comparatively. Be patient with her. You two haven't been together long enough for her to get comfortable with you yet, and you need to give her more time to get comfortable with you.
As to figuring out if she'll let you touch her more later, no one here can tell you that. She can't either...no one can predict the future.
A
male
reader, ch1p01 +, writes (9 January 2012):
ch1p01 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have asked her, and all she can tell me is that she just doesnt like it, that she is probably holding herself back cus its all new to her. I understand that some people dont like to much physical, but im just trying to figure out if this is going to be a no contact relationship or if its something that she might become more open too. I just would have thought that after a few months she would have allowed a little more contact into our relationship, and i dont mean that in a sexual way
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (8 January 2012):
I think you can't assume anything until you ASK HER. The thing is, a lot of people will come to total strangers and ask what their partner's behavior means way before they'll talk to their partner about it, which confuses me because really, it makes no sense when you consider the logic of the situation.
Since she's a virgin, perhaps she gets a little uncomfortable if you start to be too physical with her because she doesn't want to escalate the physical touch into something sexual?
You have to ask her. That's the -ONLY- way you'll know for sure.
Personally, I love my husband, who I have been with for six years and known for seven, VERY much. However, I can't cuddle and sleep at the same time, I get hot and can't fall asleep. I don't like being massaged or rubbed that much because my skin is very sensitive and gets raw when rubbed too much. That doesn't mean I have issues with intimacy, it just means I can't be rubbed or cuddled while sleeping. We have a fantastic intimate relationship in OTHER ways, and it doesn't affect how we feel for each other.
Just talk to her instead of asking strangers. It's the only way you can know for sure what issues may be there and what may only be your imagination.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 She has issues with being intimate with someone. I am unsure as to why she feels like this, but close contact seems to make her feel uneasy. It might not always be like this but for now yes I can see why you would be worried about it. Maybe growing up as a child she never had close contact with her parents or any body so this is all new to her and she does not know how to deal with it. Talk to her about it and tell her she can trust you and to open up to you. It does sound like in general she just can't handle being this close to someone.
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