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Ex has anger issues that has gone from me towards her children.What should I do?

Tagged as: Family, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My Ex was very physical with me at times. Her anger got the better of her and she couldn't manage it that well. She bottled things up until it exploded. I was okay with it as long as it was towards me and not the kids, at least this way she could vent. She threw things at me a few times, punched me a few times and hit me another time. I knew it wasn't healthy, but with her past also knew she needed a way to get things out.

Once she did something I thought she never would. She threw a cup of liquid at her eldest daughter(she was 18 at the time). Her aim was off and most of the liquid ended up on her 1 year old son. Usually she throws anything that is in arms reach and I am worried next time it won't just be a cup of liquid. I never thought she would show so much rage towards her own kids. She has also pushed the one year old a few times out of frustration when doing something and he wanted to be near her. He stumbles and once was hurt. Should I be worried? I am not longer in their lives but love all her children still as my own.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012):

Stand by my previous advice to call Child Protective Services.

Respectfully disagree with banshee's statement: "I am sure she loves her children as much as any mother."

Not all mothers love their children, can't be sure she loves hers, having the biological capacity to get repeatedly knocked up does not make any random female a "mother" by any means.

Respectfully disagree with banshee's statement: "But she needs help so convince her to go for treatment."

You can't "convince" anyone to do anything they don't want to do, especially when it means admitting wrongdoing.

Respectfully disagree with banshee's statement: "Calling for Child Protection Services will only estrange her from her children and push her into depression and further agony."

Calling CPS will save children from their already unstable mother, "mother's" feeling's be damned.

Stand by my previous advice to call Child Protective Services.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012):

Ditto male reader response. The kids are not safe with her intermittent explosive disorder. Trust me you will not only be doing them a favor but her as well. These type of personalities will never get the help they need until they are forced to.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012):

You should be worried and you need to act. Call Child Protective Services or equivalent agency for the kids' sake.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (8 January 2012):

Moo's Mum agony auntOoo I'm sorry I just realised that you do not live with her. However my answer that she needs help still stands. Call in the cavalry! Take the kids away and demand that she get some help.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (8 January 2012):

Moo's Mum agony auntYes I would be worried this is not good. She really needs some therapy for this. No one should have to live with violence in their home. If necessary you should take the kids and move out if she wont do something about it. She needs help and so do you.

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