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Girlfriend ended things but still has strong feelings... Confused!!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 January 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok here's the deal... I've been seeing what is now I guess my Ex for 7 months, but we were living together for 6 months before that and travelling together spending every waking moment and a lot of experiences together, so in reality it feels a lot longer than that. But for the last couple of months it's been long distance because I'm at Uni.

She broke it off last weekend... from what I can gather, her reasons are that: we differ on some views and values that are important to her. I need to be more assertive and listen to her more and her biggest one is that she just didn't want a boyfriend right now, that her friends are really important to her and she can't give me the time I deserve....

We both still really want to be friends, because we were great friends before we started seeing each other and we really get along in each others company.

My mind's quite logical and although it hurts like hell I had some sort of acceptance of the situation.

We saw each other yesterday evening and I went with the intention of just having a good night together, some food and a few drinks and all was going well for the first few hours. Then the subject of things between us came up and basically we both said we miss each other and things like "I just wanna kiss you but know I can't" came out of her mouth.

When we were on the train back I had my arm around her and she had her head on my shoulder and I bit the bullet and asked her to come home with me... to cut a long story short she said she couldn't and that it's not the right thing to do and she cried a bit and got angry and blamed me for the reason we broke up....

We're still talking, I'm just confused about what's going through her head. I know she'd be jealous if she saw me with any other girl (even if it is the last thing on my mind), she said she can't tell me now what she's going to be feeling in a month. It's like she doesn't want me, but doesn't want me to move on to quick.... anyway I'm going away for 3 weeks so I guess it'll give some time for things to cool off.... oh and one more thing, she's quite the stubborn one! lol

Any insights on what's going on in her mind and advise on what to do? Girls advice would be really appreciated.....

Thanks

View related questions: broke up, jealous, long distance, move on, my ex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009):

I'm 99.9% sure that her cheating isn't the case...we've always been brutally honest with each other....She has her reasons, but to me they just don't make sense, that's why it's so frustrating...

any more opinions or advice?

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A female reader, messedupfemale United Kingdom +, writes (15 January 2009):

messedupfemale agony auntmaybe she cheated on you so being apart from you and ended things has given her the punishment she needs. Perhaps she does want to be with you, but cant because of this. Otherwise, I think her reason is stupid. You either want to be with someone or not. I for one would do anything to be with my boyfriend and would never dream of walking awy for no reason at all.

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