A
male
age
30-35,
*yanmac
writes:Im 17 and my girlfriend is 16, we have been together for 14 months we didnt have sex until 7 months into the relationship. It was her first time and we had sex about roughly once or twice a week an then about 4 months after that it just stopped. we went through a whole month without it, i kept asking her when we could do it next an she'd say "oh we will do it next time im at your i promise" but the shed make up excuses not to come to my house. Then 2 months went by without it. Now im not the type of person that only wants sex in a realtionship but i was getting really annoyed because i thought she was going off me. 5 months past an we had done it once. An that one time was because it was new year.Her excuse is that shes always tired and that she cant be bothered anymore because its too much bother to do it.she always has an excuse ready for when i want to do it. all she wants to do is cuddle. an i like cuddling with her, but i dont understand why she has gone off sex. If shes only been having sex for 4 months and then went off it i cant imagine what she will be like in a few years, were young, are we meant to be having fun?i guess she just thinks she can get what she wants now cause thats the way its always been, ive always given her what she wants and now she taking advantage of that, an the only thing i would like her to do for me is have sex once in a while so that i know were still close. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): I would be very annoyed. im with my girlfriend of 8 months, and she doesnt even like TALKING about sex, i get so pissed off. she doesnt think about how i feel, but i do allthe things a man should do for his lover, everyday! how was urday? what u been up 2, how u feelin, u r beautiful i love ur smile etc, and i MEAN it when i ask. all she talks about is hugs and kisses. it really hurts me to think that she doesn't want to go there with me :(
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 March 2009):
If you were both in your 20's I would be saying that she really needs to get this sorted or she'll lose you.
But at your age, if she doesn't want to have sex then to be honest you have to put up with her or just agree to go back to being friends.
Girls often love having a best male friend to cuddle them, tell them they are beautiful and give them an ego boost, but they don't ACTUALLY want them as a boyfriend. It's cruel and mean and I have done it because I didn't honestly realise how much pain it would cause and put it down to being "unsure" of my feelings.
Tell her that it doesn't have to be sex and you could just do other stuff.
Also, I assume you are using condoms????
If not then (apart from being stupid) it does get very messy and smelly for girls for a day or 3 afterwards. All that stuff you squirt in there has to come out again. Not nice.
Use condoms and make sure she's not had a pregnancy scare or anything else that could have caused this.
If she doesn't want sex and you can't live without it though, you may just have to move on.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (1 March 2009):
 There could be something deeper going on with her. Maybe she is intensely afraid of becoming pregnant, or maybe sex began to hurt for her. And in an extreme case, maybe she was sexually abused by someone else and has since been really turned of by sex and she just hasn't told you (this is much more common than you might think).
I would bring it up to her. Ask her if she's just not attracted to you, or if she has decided to wait on sex until later in life. She does owe you some explanation, but please understand that she may be going through something in her life right now that she just hasn't had the courage to tell you about.
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