A
male
age
41-50,
*atrix7210
writes:Hi,Having a bit of trouble in our relationship and need some advice and help, here goes...Firstly, we have been together for almost a year now, until recently we were very happy and I am over the moon that I am with her. I never want to leave her as she is the love of my life. Some say I spoil her too much as I am gallable buying gifts for her, taking her theatre, meals and keeping her happy. I’m also taking her for an all paid holiday to Monaco. I do everything for her, and never have hurt her. We do have ups and down but that’s normal in any relationship. We have been so happy together.Soon my brother is to get married and we have decided to go abroad on holiday as a family. There are 6/7 guys going and they are all blood brother and first cousins. We are going away for 3 days to a European country. Nothing big just few of us going away as I never been away with all my guy cousins and brother together. Now she has a big issue with this, she thinks that I will get up to no good and betray her. She has not been talking to me properly for 4\5 days and each time we talk we are arguing because she doesn’t believe me. She does believe that I am not one of those guys who will go to mess around and cheat on her. I so love her and this is not what I will do. I told her we are going with my brothers and cousins for a holiday and nothing more. I have told her I done so much for her why would I chuck it away now. I cannot cancel because it’s all booked by my brother and my family is expecting me there.I am really in love with her and want to marry her., but she is not listening to me and not cooperating. I never stopped her doing anything she wants to do. I have always been honest and I’m pouring my heart out to her.Please help. I don’t want to lose her.
View related questions:
cousin, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, matrix7210 +, writes (2 April 2011):
matrix7210 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice guys... really appreciate it... I had no one to talk to or go to.. I will try and make her understand... I will be faithful and reassure her nothing will happen.. I will make sure I win her over again...I will try my hardest and prove to her everything will be back to normal...
Really appreciate your help... Thanks once again..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): Yoy sound like a good guy and very much in love. Yout girlfriend just needs more reassurance and that's because she is probably worried about what you will all get up to. Lots of guys go abroad and get into all sorts of situations with strippers, lap dancers and prostitutes and that's a fact. Maybe her family or friends are adding fuel to the fire and teasing her too.
I think its because she loves you and your relationship so much that she is frightened you may be influenced or pressurized to do something you wouldn't normally dream of doing.
Be gentle with her and reassure her and show her your post and this reply. I would feel exactly the same as her and need to feel very reassured if my boyfriend was going away on an all male holiday.
Be patient and keep talking and ask her how you can make things better for her. You need to go as its booked but it would be so much easier to have her blessing too. Wish there were more guys like you around she is a lucky girl.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): I'm a 26 years old male.
I really don't have many love experience, and I'm perhaps the worst to give you advice. It's easier for someone outside to help you fix a problem you can't find a problem being inside. I hope this helps you out.
1) In my opinion, you are truly spoiling her. You should give her stuff, but not too much. If you base your relationship in stuff, if you get to loose all those stuff, she'll surely dump you. You must be the MAN, and don't buy her up. Girls think you're trying to buy her, and it is a turn off.
2) YOU MUST GO WITH YOUR BROTHERHOOD TO THE HOLIDAY. No comments. You want it, your brothers want it, and you know you'll enjoy it. Period.
3) Be a MAN. Get a grip on your balls and tell your girlfriend you are going to a holiday with your brothers. YOU SHOULD NOT ASK FOR PERMISSION, YOU ARE A GROWN UP! She is also a grown up, and she is no one to tell you what to do or what not to do. Show her you are the one in control, not her. [I don't refer to a controlling/abusive man, I mean, you are a guy who is in control of your LIFE]. Tell her that you love her, and that you'll see her in 3 days, that you'll keep in touch. If she doesn't trust you are really going on a holiday, grab your cell phone, and call your brothers. Let her ask your brothers about the trip. That will clear any doubts she has about your trip.
4) If she insist in you not going to that trip, even though you told her that there was not going to be a discussion, and you even took time and effort to make her trust you, then I encourage you to rethink your situation. Do you really want to marry a girl that has control/jealousy issues? Those for me would be red flags... you should probably read this link:
www.shrink4men.com/2011/03/29/how-to-crazy-proof-yourself-after-breaking-up-with-or-divorcing-an-abusive-girlfriend-or-wife-part-1/
Read it, and find out if you are in an abusive relationship, take caution: marriage is a not so cool contract for guys in the US and UK... you can lose your assets, your children (when you have one), and your manhood, if you choose to marry a woman with those traits.
Wish you best luck!
Remember: you were born a MAN, so BE ONE !
...............................
|
