A
male
age
36-40,
*odrigoViz
writes:Hey to all. My name is Rodrigo and I am from Lima, Peru. On the months from beginning december of 2007 till the end of march of 2008 I went to an exchange program to Burlington, Vermont. Is there when I met my now ex girlfriend, we lived together for all those 4 months, after that she came repeatedly to Lima on her winter break, summer break, etc, we kept this relationship going for almost 2 years. She did that because once I tried to break up with her saying that I wasnt going to be able to go as much, so that would suck, she said she didnt care that she would come here as much as its necessary because I was the love of her life, that she wanted this to work. So I believed that and called off the breakup, I still managed to visit her on march of 2009, even for a week, but hey, I tried.She kept telling me all the time that I was the love of her life, that she will love me forever no matter what, so after she got back from comming here on her 2009 summer break, we decided both to call the relationship off because I wasnt going to be able to go in december and she wasnt going to be able to come either, we didnt know when we would see each other again, I wasnt planning on live in the U.S and neither she in Peru, we both concurred on that and it was ok, we were stoping to talk gradually and was a normal breakup.But then I realized how much I missed her in my life! even if long distance! that I needed her in order to be happy, that was a month after we broke up. I told her that I loved her so so much, that after I graduate (8 months from now) I would go and live with her and try to make her the happiest woman I could, in between those 8 months I would go and visit her as much as I could, that I would try and make her feel special everyday for the rest of us, that would never ever take her for granted. She said no, that she couldnt do the long distance anymore, that I was the love of her life but she didnt want to be with me anymore (even though I was whiling to go there for us, the main reason why we broke up together) she had totally changed her mind 180 degrees from what it used to be. I still insisted, that I didnt wanted to move on, that I wanted her. She told me she wasnt moving on either (one day before halloween) that she was still mourning for us, that she had the chance (a guy asked her out) and she said no. Well to my surprise on sunday (after saturday halloween) I saw pictures of her in a halloween party holding hands with another boy, he looked really young (I am almost 22 now, she is 20) anyone that saw that picture could automatically assume that they were in a dating situation, I can't tell you how I felt....I felt like a cargo train just crushed my chest, I couldnt breathe...I couldn't sleep or eat for a few days, crying uncontrolably, I have never done that for any girl I have been with before.How could she do that? how could she after me trying to get back with her 2 days ago, knowing how much I loved her, knowing how crushed I was after she already said no, after she said she wasnt moving on either, put pictures up of that so the world could see. Then she told me that she saw him 2 more times during the week in which they kissed too, and that she was growing fond of him more and more. That I should not talk or write to her anymore for a long time, that she doesnt think we are meant to be anymore, not now not in a future. How can a person change their mind completely so fast?. I was willing to give her what we broke up for, she denied and then this so soon. I mean what did I do wrong? I was a really sweet boyfriend, a gentleman everytime with her, I was really romantic (we latin men are usually romantic and corny), I dont know how can a woman change her mind so fast without even caring about my feelings anymore after all of this special time we had?. When I asked for explanations she would give me different ones (dont want to have the long distance anymore, that she felt I didnt wanted to be with her, that she wants to live her life and do what she wants,etc) well which one is it? She is already dating him I think, I havent spoken to her in almost a month now, I am feeling better because I have such great friends, family and hobbies. But it still goes around my mind, I feel like I didnt know her at all I dont know why such a big change. Any words would really help me.....Thank you
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male
reader, justtesting  +, writes (1 December 2009):
Rodrigo, I know it's hard... "love" is illogical. People change dramatically. It's hard to cope, specially when the break-up is more one-sided.I think that love has a rather selfish side to it too, though the media won't tell us that often. Try to find meaning in doing something selfless for the world. That will help you overcome your hurt.I understand your pain. May it lead to enlightenment and happiness of other types!
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