A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Please help, my girlfriend and I are not having sex. We broke up for a little while and have been back together a couple of months now but have only had sex a few times.She says it's because it has now developed into a mental block for her, and she feels more pressure with every day that passes that we son't have sex.She knows that I want to have sex with her but acknowledges that I'm not putting pressure on her, yet she feels this weight on her shoulders anyhow. She also wants to get past this 'mental block' and knows that sex is a vital part of any relationship.Is there anything we can do? Anything to help her relax and lose the anxiety?Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012): There is nothing you can do until you figure out the source. Where this has come from and what kind of mental block she has.
It's kind of understandable if it's a block to do with getting back together with someone who she broke up with. I mean whatever those reasons are may well still be on her mind, maybe she's not fully in this yet and is unsure about this still. It wouldn't be unusual for a person to be cautious about starting a full blown sexual relationship with those kind of doubts. But who knows why it is.
You should talk and try and find out what she's thinking. Be careful though OP, try and approach this from a non-pressure angle. You want to get to the root of this problem but you don't want to make it worse or make her feel bad.
I think though this may just be a matter of patience and understanding, you're only just back together, still in the stage of testing each other out again, learning to trust and to see if it will work this time. Once she's gotten comfortable again the sex will probably follow that.
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