A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Even though ive been a man in the relationship and paid for our one year anniversary weekend away as well her birthday very recently, my girlfriend broke up with me for the forth time.Dont get me wrong, she has been very good to me such as little suprise's here and there, being there when I needed her, supportive and being kind to my family and dont look at it as being used as we shared things and when shes nice, I cant ask for a better person, When she was cold, she was a different girl all together but put her in her place when need be. Her ex boyfriend was a lay about with no drive and spark which im the complete oposite which she wanted in her next relationship which was me. However now she had it, she didnt know how to handle it or she didnt want what she desired for.. ok I wasnt perfect, got things wrong sometimes, bought her the wrong colour vans etc general typical guy stuff but overall a good honest person who will protect his woman on all angles and she knew that and got many things right too apart from the wrong onesShe was with her ex for 4 years then met me 5 or 6 months later ( hmm rebound maybe) when we broke up the first time, her excuse was I was a little asentric and found it cringe, however we got back together. The second one was that we had no banter even though we did but she recons it wasnt the same as with her ex. She clearly said that there are soo many better things about me compare to her ex but banter is a huge thing to her so mattered alot in our relationship. As the months went on, we spoke about me moving in with her, she gave me her flat keys, spoke about holidays, she spoke about marriage and children even and during our relationship we went away many times. I even thought she might crash as things were being rushedI didnt change as a person to suit her needs as I was being me. She liked and love that about me but started to text her ex boyfriend again and realise this so pulled her up. She stated that she missed the banter and she was stop doing it as she knew it was wrong. She also said that she didnt love him anymore but only missed the friendship hmm really?! alarm bells were ringing then.!I guess it doesnt help her being in contact with his sisters here and there as that brings back memorys surley?! Its crazy, there would be a few weeks were she tells me she loves me and cant wait to see me then the next week would be pure coldness. Ive been through hell and back, lost weight, cant eat like i used to and lacked gym.. The day/evening we broke up she was hinting that she was in the same place again so before she used the words which I knew she was gonna say,I decided to get up, pack my clothes and my last words were " one day you will realise what you have lost" she text me and said about picking up the rest of my clothes and she cant keep dragging this on and im sure I dont want to either but blanked the text then went to her flat and packed the rest then left a note basically saying " i love u too, ill miss you, good bye and left her key. She then text me saying " You have left some more items here that you have forgotten like your ring, trousers ect and im so sorry about this and ill miss you too X" but blanked and didnt reply to the text again. She deleted me from facebook along the photo's which messed my head up more. I miss her so much as its been one week and 4 days and its tearing me apart but have been strong by not contacting her and havent been begging her to take me back or havent been trying to call her and email etc.However I owe her some money which she hasnt mentioned but am planning to put it in an envelope and post it to her. Maybe she hasnt mentioned the money and to test me if I give it back huh?! My question is should I leave a note alongside the money and say I want to cut all contact and I need space even though I left a note saying good bye to her etc.. or should I just post the money and dissapear from the face of the earth without a message..?? so confussed now!! :((((( ( please read carefully before answering). THANKS GUYS
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anniversary, broke up, facebook, got back together, her ex, money, spark, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks allina, your words make sense! Time is a healer I guess so got to be strong. Take care :)
A
female
reader, Anellina  +, writes (31 May 2013):
Well, she seems to not know what she is doing... one day she wants you, the next she wants her ex... so considering that i think you did the best thing you could do and left her. Of course it hurts a lot since you cared a lot for her and had dreams and goals together. But things will get better, at some point the pain gets so little you will even be able to think about her with nothing more than a little sting when you remember the good times.As for the money, i think you should return it so that you don't have it in your mind as some unfinished business with her. Include a casual note reminding her of the debt and letting her know you return that money in the envelope, but no more than that. you have already said your goodbyes with her, going through it all again will only make you look clingy... And i believe you need to keep going as you were, don't go out of your way to "dissapear from the face of the earth"... it won't help with anything... if you run into her just play cool and actually try to not let it get to you...So, stay strong :) things will get better soon!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2013): good bye means good bye. put the money in the envelope and just write "thank you". thats enough.
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