A
male
age
36-40,
*arp104
writes:I am in a very bad a frustrating situation. I was married to a girl who left me for another guy and was living with him before we even got an official divorce. It took me a long time but I am finally over that now and have met the absolute girl of my dreams and we have hung out 5 times.On the first date I told her about my past marriage, and it kind of shocked her. She said her mom is a heavy believer in Pentecostal religion and they only believe you can be married once. Frustrated by this, I actually found versus in the bible and talked to pentecostal pastors myself all of which tell me I am allowed to remarry given my wife left me for another man (adultery). This girl understands this but her mom is persistent that she should not see me because of this.Last night we talked on the phone and she told me she loves me and it is killing her to do this but we need to have a talk. I know she is going to cut things off with me because of her moms beliefs. I am at a complete loss of what to do, we have such a great time together and we both had very strong feelings for each other. I am 26 and she is 22 years old. I don't know if I can handle this after my past. It is terrible my last girl left me for another man but now this is going to leak into this relationship and destroy my chances with a girl I really do love and care about. I really need some help here and quickly - I don't know what to do.
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 May 2012):
 It’s like the tattoo quoting the bible showing to be against homosexuality and the user forgot that the bible is also against tattoos… it’s a question of picking and choosing…
If they don’t believe in it there is NOTHING YOU can do. IF she does not follow this belief however, it’s up to her to deal with her parents and possibly end her relationship with them for you. Is that what you want for her to choose you or her family?
A
male
reader, carp104 +, writes (31 May 2012):
carp104 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so after speaking with her on the phone some more she admits she is crazy for me and she loves me, but she says it is her families belief that you can only marry once.
What I dont understand is her family believes in the bible, which actually states I CAN remarry given that my previous wife left me for another man, this is one of the only exceptions in the bible for remarriage. I can't seem to get her to understand this, even though I have shown her the versus in the bible and talked to two pastors about it who agreed with me, she still has this belief even though she is crazy about me???
It looks like I will have one chance to talk to her person to person over the next few days about all this where I already know she is probably going to say we can be friends. I have one chance to give her a speech and hope my words can persuade her to stay with me. I really would like to sit with her parents and discuss all this but I don't know if she will even give me the chance.
What should I tell her when I talk to her this last time...is there anything that might persuade her to stay with me?
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Calm down pal. First, get ur emotions under control. I see this for the long term a disaster because if u marry this woman u marry the family, including her mother. She is wrong to judge you. In fact, that is ^^^^ bs. You dont deserve to be judged by her or anyone. I dont think this is worth ur time at all because of the long term consequence u could face in being with her and that is having awful in laws. I dated a girl whose mom hated me at first cause i was exposed to islam. I by being myself overcame her adversity and eventually won her over but it sure wasnt worth it. It was an awful pain. Dont suffer. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 May 2012):
 There really is not a whole lot that you can do here to be honest with you. It is a very hard situation to be in and I feel really sorry for you, but it is your girlfriend that has to stand up to her mother and tell her that it is her life and that she loves you. But I don't think she would be willing to do that.
Maybe it could be arranged that you meet her mother and talk to her, explain to her how much you feel for her daughter, and tell her about the research that you done in to her beliefs and try and show her that you have her daughters best interest at heart. No it might not work but it is always a good idea to try if you have nothing to lose.
...............................
|
