A
female
age
36-40,
*aileyc21
writes:How do I know if my boyfriend dislikes my wearing of make-up because of a sweet reason rather than a selfish reason? In other words, how should I react to my boyfriends comments about me wearing make-up? My Bf makes fun of me for wearing it.. and compares me to other girls who he says "have the girl next door look." I feel like he'd rather me not wear make-up, so that other guys won't pay attention to me as much.. but how do I find out if I'm wrong? On the flip side, how do I find out if he doesn't want me to wear make-up because he genuinely likes me the way I look without any on? The reason I ask is because I know my boyfriend has had jealousy issues in the past, and it would be so like him to make fun of me for wearing make-up, so I would feel self-conscious about it and stop wearing it. It bothers him that I like looking good.. but why? I don't get it! I get the fact that he likes me the way I am.. but there's a time and a place for looking like I don't care about what I look like.. and then there is a time and a place where I enjoy looking good, and feeling good about the way I look. My question is for all you guys out there. Should I stop wearing make-up for him because he likes me better without it.. Or should I continue wearing make-up because it's who I am, and because he should accept me for who I am?
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female
reader, Haileyc21 +, writes (1 May 2011):
Haileyc21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I definitely agree with your response.. and thank you. The only reason why I even bring up this issue is because I'm not a circus clown make-up type of girl in all honesty. I'll admit, I wear more than usual when I go out on the town or to the clubs (what girl doesn't?), but on a daily basis I wear make-up that is very subtle, so that's why his reaction confuses me. I'm definitely not a barbie type of girl, but I still take pride in how I look, for me it's dignity. If I feel good about the way I look then I feel good all around, (doesn't everyone feel that way?) I'm not going to stop wearing make-up because he makes fun of me for it, but I still want to figure out how I should explain that to him. I've already made it perfectly clear that I just want him to accept me for who I am, and he's still giving me a hard time about wearing make-up.. which I think is the silliest thing to give a person a hard time about. If it's not one thing it will be another.. for example my dress could be too revealing, my hair could be to too over done, etc or I could dress down too much.. at this point I feel like no matter what I do on the exterior he's going to make fun of me for it. I just feel like he shouldn't worry about what I want to do with myself on the exterior, the person I am on the inside is more important in my opinion. I could just as well tell him he doesn't need to wear gel in his hair to look good, but he will still wear it to feel good about himself.. So that's the point I was trying to get at. It's not so much about him getting jealous. I completely understand that it could be his personal opinion, and I value his opinion, but if he loves me for who I am then it wouldn't matter what the heck I want to do with my body. He should just accept that, or get another girlfriend who doesn't wear make-up. I know I should bite my lip and get over it, but it's my boyfriend.. my potential husband. It's that feeling of someone poking you over and over and over until you eventually snap. I don't want to continue in this relationship if he continues to rag on me about my appearance.. It shouldn't matter. Anyway.. I hope that makes more sense.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): I find that women who habitually use a lot of make up start to look more like a transvestite and less like a woman. What do I mean by this? I mean they start to look like an impersonation of a woman rather than a real woman. I would prefer a woman who wears very light makeup with a couple flaws (even a few acnes scars) to the face of a woman who looks like she's got a millimeter of gunk layered on her face. It might be easier on your ego to say that his opinion is one born out of jealousy...but don't you think this might be a real personal preferance on his part? You call your make up "looking good" and his detraction "jealousy"....Perhaps he's telling you his personal opinion in real earnest?Loads of make up can just make a lady look like a circus clown trying WAY too hard. If other men hit on you, then they likely do it because you because they think you want to attention ...OR because you are naturally beautiful and you don't need to paint your face. Men don't pay attention to you intrinsically because of your make up.
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