A
male
age
41-50,
*jmcnabza
writes:I dont know who else to turn to. Its really getting to the point where I dont know what to do.sorry if its long, but yeah.My Fiancee and I are getting married in about 3 months. For the last year, she has been doing freelance work to save up some money for the wedding. But since she started doing freelance, she has been working so much that she gets angry at me for not doing freelance. She says that I need to man up and make more money and etc., etc., etc. She then goes on about how useless I am and how I dont do anything, and no one works as hard as she does. Now all i've ever asked her for was to spend time with me. play games together, cook together, just be together. I dont think i am asking to much. But she is more interested in working or facebook or chatting or a million other things rather than me. She says she works so hard for me, but I dont see it. All i see is that the constant work is pulling us apart. But she doesn't seem to see it. What should I do? I've asked her countless times to stop working so much. But I get a "I have to, you dont make enough from your salary, so how else can we afford our standard of living."Should I leave? cos i know she will never change her ways. No matter what I do. and I dont want to have children with her, cos she will just run them into the ground like she does me. It seems like everything to her is black or white. I am at the end of my rope.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Call off the wedding for one. In fact, why are you two even getting hitched? You two sound like bipolar opposites.
It sounds like she's always been this way..if that is the case then no she will not change. She doesn't want to and you can't make her. Since you aren't happy anymore, and don't want her being the mother of your future children then there is no sense in marrying her..much less being in a relationship any longer. Leave.
A
female
reader, Resha +, writes (11 April 2011):
I think its really hard. But my advice try to talk to her heart To heart. Ask her what she really wants you to do. Maybe shes also at the edge of her rope on you & before its too late you have to saved her and your relationship. You should discover her even deeper bcoz you are about to be married to her. There are things about those people we loved that we'll discover the time we spend our half life w/ them and then we'll realized oh i think i can't stand with it and i need to leave and when u decided already,you'll find out thats its too late. Talk to her,tell her what you feel. Let her listen first then you can listen to her more open.
Goodluck..
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 she's materialistic and if you are not then theres an obvious clash. if money matters more to her than spending time with you thats her perogative.
if you dont want to marry her or have kids with her then end it. you'll get less abuse and then you'll be free to meet someone that you do get along with.
sounds like you two are a bad match in terms of goals and desires from life. she's gonna be hard to please and no amount of money will ever be enough because she has ambitions and they will only increase over time. aspirational overload it appears.
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