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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice. Posted not so long ago as I had just started seeing a guy who had recently got out of a relationship. We met on a night out and from then he was texting me and we met up a few times. He would message every day for roughly 3 weeks. Last week he went a bit quiet, and when we spoke he admitted he felt he had rushed into something else and couldn't get into anything serious. I completely understood as I was guarded about it all anyway, but we ended things on good terms, wishing each other well. Was a bit disappointing but was glad I knew where I stood. The following day he text me saying he wanted to see me, that he never thought of me as just a gap filler and that he really enjoyed my company. I took this to mean he sort of regretted us calling it a day, and we arranged to meet up. We just watched films and laughed and hugged, nothing else, I figured he could do with a friend at the least. However, we did kiss etc and we do seem to genuinely get on. The next day, we were frequently texting again, but for the past day or so he's gone quiet again. I also noticed he has 'liked' a photo of a mutual friend on fb. I'm so confused and starting to feel hurt. I was happy to let him go last week, but the fact that he did a complete 360 has left me bewildered. Also, we seem to get on great when we are together, but when we're apart, it feels distant if that makes sense! I'm really laid back and don't wanna pressure him so soon after a messy break up, but he was the one that pushed for us to be involved and now I feel he's giving mixed vibes. Any advice?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 September 2013):
 I agree, take is WAY slow. No more snuggling on the couch, kissing and watching movies. No sex either.
Take the "dates" to public places so you two can hang out without pressure.
The thing is though, IF you want a BF, he is not it. Not for a while. Maybe not ever (with you) So.. if you want a relationship look elsewhere.
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (19 September 2013):
 The next time he comes sniffing around, play hard to get.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2013): I agree with the others 100%. He's happy to blow hot and cold when he feels like some free action, but without getting his feet in too deep and commit to a relationship- he's ups and downs after his relationship and doesn't know what he wants... Other than when his dick gets warm... You're not too emotionally involved with this guy so I strongly suggest get out of this while it's easy to... Definitely don't put up with his yes and no behaviour because you deserve someone who can give you a straight answer and not string you along... He's technically not in a relationship with you, so as far as he's concerned it's ok to get a bit of sneaky FWB action in there... Not fair on you and you'd do better to shop around! Good luck :) xx
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (18 September 2013):
 It sounds like he's downgraded you from potential girlfriend to potential friends with benefits, I'm afraid.
Don't be so laid back that you get hurt. No more kisses, and especially no more "etc", for this guy.
I'd say: let him get over his confused break-up issues without involving you. He has other friends for that. Put yourself first.
Maybe in time he can offer what you want, but it doesn't sound like he can just now. I'd steer clear and get on with your life without him in it.
All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2013): One thing you should know and learn about men is that they changed so quickly in a blink of an eye.
They might be feeling something for you at this time at this moment but the next day would be different.
Never assume anything so quickly, unless he asked you or told you that he really wants more from being just friends.
Its crazy and unfair but that's how they are. I've learned that from players. Men are different from women.
Act like a lady but you must think like a man do, so you wont get trapped on their dirty tricks.
My advise, don't take him seriously. If his giving you mixed vibes its because he just enjoys free kisses from you and so as with other girls.
Now with that in mind, I suggest for you to start dating other people. Forget your feelings for him. His not worth it.
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