A
age
36-40,
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writes: I have recently become good friends with a guy that I met through my brother's girlfriend. He told my brother's girlfriend he didn't like me but changed his mind a week later saying he was too scared to ask me out. We hangout out at my flat almost everyday (as friends) and have become quite close and he asked me out finally lol and it was very awkward (never been asked out face to face), I said yes as I really like him. Anyways we went on a couple of dates and he came over my flat a couple of weeks ago and told me we weren't compatible, obviously this made me very angry but I accepted it and agreed it would be better if we remained good friends. Last Saturday I planned a get together at my place with all my friends, including him and he was all over me! My brother's girlfriend told me he still liked me so I confronted him and he told me he does really like me but he felt that he was very affectionate (hugging, kissing) and I seemed uncomfortable, well to be honest I was shocked with how he was kissing me all the time and hes always telling me how hes a virgin and is waiting for the right one! This week we started dating again but the day before yesterday he went away to spain for a week with his mates and didn't even hug me goodbye. I am sick of these mixed signals, should I just end it or speak to him when he comes back and see what happens? I want to be friends with him but I find it hard as when I look at him my heart melts and when hes cold to me I get really angry and we argue :( sorry its really long lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYer i can see what you mean, talked to my friends and it makes me even more confused!I guess im just afraid to get too close to him incase he runs scared like ehs done a few times! We will see when he comes back, he is a nice guy when he wants to be ha
A
female
reader, Juliet +, writes (27 June 2011):
Hi,
Poor you with all this confusion! Things can be so difficult at times eh?
Well, in truth I've learned one main thing -
Talking about things with other people can really only go so far.
Ultimately if you want to REALLY know whats going on with someone... you've guessed it.. you have to speak to THAT particular person.
I don't mean to say that in a condesending way and I mean no disrespect, but if - when you look at him your heart melts - then its kind of the only real option available to you that won't cause your head to spin with different possible reasons, right?.
I myself anyway have always found that talking about things with others or several others just gives more possible explanations and confuses me more without giving me a concrete answer.
Does that make sense?
You said it yourself, the choices are 1)just end it or 2) speak to him when he comes back.
Don't you agree that if he makes your heart melt it's worth asking him whats going on?
Best of luck with it. Do let me know how it goes.
Kind regards,
x
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