A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've been in love with a guy for almost a year now, but he has a girlfriend.they have been together for almost 3 years now.They're very much in love and are planning to settle down together in the future.He is unaware of my feelings for him and he says that he cares for me as a friend.My feelings for him is deeper than i thought it would be.I tried moving on but i failed.I have no guts to confess my feelings.I don't know what to do.The pain is too much to bear.I don't know whether i should get over him or continue to love him in silence.Please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): Aww sweetie i know how you feel i have been in the same place. You really need to make a change right now, don't let this go on any longer. Either confess to him how you feel, great rewards come from great risks. But you may also get rejected, but at least you'd have tried and gotten it off your chest how you feel. It really does help to confess, even though it is scary and nerve wracking. I think you have to look at what's going to be best for you in the long term. Maybe he stays with her another day or another 10 years, do you still want to be alone and miserable waiting to see if he'll break up? You'll be putting your life and your happiness on hold for something that may never come. My suggest sit down with him and tell him exactly how you feel, then take his answer and move on, whether he says he'll give you a chance or that he just wants to be friends. If he says friends, don't focus on trying to find another guy right away just do what makes you happy, go out with friends, pick up some new hobbies, get involved in other areas of your life and a guy will show up when the time is right.
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Sounds like you already know your choices.
1. Confess your feelings.
2. Move on.
It sounds like he's happy in his relationship and since he simply cares for you as a friend, you're best course of action is to just move on. Find somebody who shares the same feelings for you. I know it's not easy to hear, but unless you get up the guts to confess your feelings.... this is the way it has to be.
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