A
female
age
30-35,
marriedchick
writes:Ok so you lost your partners trust… whether it may be resulted from cheating or lying, it's gone from you now. I have plenty of experience in this topic for I have been through it myself and I was the one who lost trust for my partner. Once you lose your partners trust even though they might want to, they may not ever be able to trust you again, but you can change this if you feel it is worth the work for you will definitely have to work hard for it the second time, and every person is different. First of all if you are on the computer a lot and your partner is aware of this you might want to let them install a key logger on your computer and let them be the one to withhold the password, this way they will be able to see what you do online when they are not around. Try http://www.imonitorsoft.com/ secondly keep no passwords; make sure your phone, laptop or anything you may have does not have a password for this will create extra suspicion and will not facilitate the trust situation but will only make it worst. Every where you go for periods of hours would have to be accounted for, tell your partner that they can drop by your workplace whenever they want or even call your jobs phone, make them know you have nothing to hide and you are doing nothing else besides working. Call your partner when ever you get a chance, let them know you think about them and don’t have anyone else clouding your mind and desires for them. If you have lost your partners trust, chances are they will question you a lot. This is a result of what you did, you wronged them so just answer any questions your partner may have calmly and avoid getting angry with them for they are just trying to verify info so they can start trusting you again, so really they want to trust you again. Instead of getting mad just reassure them how much you have changed and how much you love them and be affectionate. Never say “that was in the past and you should trust me by now” always stay calm and understanding trust doesn’t come back over night but with these steps applied it should play a big role and the status is totally up to you!
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female
reader, marriedchick +, writes (15 October 2009):
marriedchick is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi Alisa, that is very true and I know this from personal experience. I’ve had a situation with my partner whereas I came across messages on an internet profile from another woman, although he claims it was a long time ago and he is different now I still can't seem to trust him again. Most guys tend to think that trust is not a big issue in a relationship but it is very hard to be happy when you have insinuations and thoughts in your head for the rest of the term
A
female
reader, marriedchick +, writes (15 October 2009):
marriedchick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi cat118, Thank you very much for your compliment. In my opinion of your post, you did not discover all of that by accident it was meant for you to know about that, iv'e had a similiar situation happen with my partner. Do you know if he has cheated on you physically?
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A
female
reader, Alisa  +, writes (15 October 2009):
You make a excellent point, but sounds like to much work. If someone needs to do all that, you need to leave him. Who has time to be questioning some man like that? Find someone you can trust. You can't trust again. Trust is like nuclear energy wants lost you never get it back. Those people that want to give the relationship a second try. Just be with them,if you find out it happened again leave. You can't put that much emphasis on anyone. Your asking to get hurt.
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A
female
reader, cat118  +, writes (14 October 2009):
Hi Marriedchick.
Just had to say what a brilliant post. I'm going to show my partner it, amd insists he reads it.
I lost all my trust in him two years ago, after I discovered by accident that he had been cheating on me with many different people, also going on the internet, porno sites, swingers sites etc. And chats site on his phone.
I'm on the verge of telling him to go, but who knows maybe when he reads this he will understand why I can't trust him and how i'm feeling.
Have you any advice for me, on how I can start to trust him again. All the time he was playing around I trusted him completely, but now I don't even trust him when his in the same room with me.
Thankyou x
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