A
male
age
41-50,
*ilitaryPapi
writes:I want to first start by saying sorry if my typing grammar may not flow well. As you can tell I am in the military (air force) and have been for 12 years now. I am 30 years old and my area in work in the military is under special operations through that air force which work with members under special operations as a whole. Throughout my years in the military I haven't dated anyone because my area of work requires me to be gone a lot, but also when finding that special person she must understand that not only is my job requires me gone a lot that our relationship must be strong through the trust of GOD and understanding to get through difficulties of being away or just normal issues. Anyhow my question which has me a little confused. I have been involved in a serious relationship which would lead into marriage for 2 years now. Of those two years she and I were friends at first for a year before getting together which makes it 2 yrs of dating. We got into a relationship while I was away and before getting together we both mention that this relationship must under that it's through GOD first along with we will have challenges cause I am away for a period of time. Throughout our time of dating I made it easy but of course email,web cam, and phone calls when I can just to know that I want this to work and show that relationships for me is serious. Fast forward now my girlfriend recently told me that back in 2008 (Sept) she cheated on me with a guy from high school at a wedding party. She didn't mean to cheat on me and said it was a bad choice she made and don't know how she could have done this to us. She mentioned that she was frustrated with the fact of not knowing when I was coming home . Keep in mind she has told me some days we need time apart as in for her to deal with frustrations of not knowing when I will come home, but that doesn't mean we see other people etc just need time to pray to GOD. So when she told me that she cheated on me and held it from me for this long until she knew I came home so we could talk about it. It broke my heart to know this, but struggle with should I trust her. I put all my cards on the table about what I do and why I don't jump into relationships because my area of work requires someone strong and we have to work through it together. I told her that I forgiven her and we can work through this. I just don't feel okay that sits through my mind how can someone allow themselves to do this at a party when she doesn't drink and end up at his hotel an next thing they had sex. I mean how do someone who don't just open up to people much go with someone back to their hotel and next thing its sex. I also don't understand why this JODY whom she mention that they were talking about me and I guess her expressing her frustration that he would take advantage of this and for them to sleep together. I ask her limited questions but I just want to know everything so it clear my mind and we move pass this because our relationship is worth saving. sorry for so long and many grammar problems just frustrated.
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cheated on me, her ex, military, period, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (17 February 2009):
 she doesn't sound like the right girl for you.
You're job requires a strong woman who will love you unconditionally. Be there thick and thin. I don't take she has what it takes to be a military wife. Don't settle ...keep looking for the right girl.
A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (17 February 2009):
 It's a good sign that she told you. She at least has enough respect for you and your relationship to do that. You would never have know otherwise. She feels bad for betraying you.I used to think that cheaters are awful and should all be shot at dawn. That was before I was a cheater. I've had one affair and don't plan on having another. I don't think it's really in a female's nature to stray.If you have truly forgiven her, then you have to let it go and try your best to trust her. I wouldn't be able to do that, but you seem willing. Give her another shot. If she does it again, then she cannot be trusted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): Your English is better than mine - its a good post.
when it boils down to it have you forgiven her - yes or no?
if yes then great - then you have to say ok it was daft and wrong. But it has happened and she is a different now. She might of actually been upset herself and a moment of weakness and being upset with alcohol added can cause stupidity. But you have forgiven her. sooo get on with forgiving her. it was one stupid night in potentially a lifetime she will spend with you.
Its your pride that feels hurt - let it go.
Stop thinking about it and keep busy (i know thats hard in the Military).
talk openly to her - i know you military types keep it in (part of the training). Tell he r how your head is as well as your heart.
Star.x.
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