A
male
age
41-50,
*gunit
writes:hi,my girlfriend has been having sex since she was 16 or 17. now she is 22. i started dating her when she was 20.she doesn't seem to be able to orgasm, even though i have tried alot of things. she apparently enjoys it alot but just can't.i know it could be the stress. but i always thought that because she started having sex that young, it might have stretched or damaged something. i have heard that having sex at a young age can damage a girl, and can end up not being able to control discharges etc.. she does have a little bit of discharge, but a little bit every now and again which i suppose is normal.on a routine checkup with gynaegologist, she was told she has the uterus and overaries of a kid. this further supports my earlier thinking about her starting to have sex at too young an age.is there anything i can do about this. she doesn't want to talk about it. and when i try to, she just says i am insecure etc..but of course i want to get her to orgasm, not for me, but for her. it is the same to me because i come anyways.Another thing..i think she may not be that attracted to me anymore, (not the reason for the non-orgasm since i never could get her to, and apparently she never has with intercourse)i am apparently really attractive as i have been told by quite a few people (staying humble but for purpose of question) and she apparently still loves me alot, and she does still do stuff which a person wouldn't do if they didn't love you. so i definitely know she does love me alot, but we don't have sex that much, and when we do she doesn't enjoy it as much as she used to(or apparently did). she gets pissed off when i bring it up, and she says all i think about is sex. but we haven't had sex in a while, so naturally i want to.i also think that rejection from her each time will make me just not want to have sex either (cause i actually think about it, and want to less often now). so when she comes around, if she does, i might not want to have sex anymore.and as the ladies know, a girl not wanting sex is fine, but when the guy doesn't want to have sex, then all hell breaks loose.. so any advice you can give me on my situation is appreciated.thanks GGunitP.S. i know i used apparently alot, its not a sign of insecurity, just that my upbringing makes me use it. we use apparently when it is fact from a different person.
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discharge, insecure, orgasm Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ggunit +, writes (8 January 2009):
ggunit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, thanks
we are actually in south africa for holiday as i now live in her country, i arrived 3 weeks ago, and she is arriving next week, so i will let you know how it goes. hopefully she will try the lube and everything will go as planned.
thanks
GGunit
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): The toothpast thing lol that’s a winner
Well lube doesn’t have the nicest taste but it cant kill you, you might just be able to visit the loo a bit easier coz ull be pretty lubed up LOL, if you gona be getting the lube from clicks, then only use a small quantity of that on her spot, so yea you will be able to use your tongue there wouldn’t really have to as much though coz the breathing and brushing helps the feeling on you can even use your chin to gently rub over it, also try and run your fingers up and down her thighs and stomach you need to make her sensitive to touch so that always works for me if you gona be using your fingers which might only be a plus, then rather use saliva there, otherwise you can get eatable lube from an adult shop they have some nice things there as well and is in a way more promising than click :)
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male
reader, ggunit +, writes (7 January 2009):
ggunit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks..
i will try the frostbite lube, it sounds promising, i tried the same sort of thing, but with brushing my teeth befre hand, cause i heard the feeling of the tooth paste can stimulate her the same way as you said, but i think it doesn't do as much as what you said, cause she can't really feel it.
just want to ask about the lube, cause i know nothing about it, never used.
so my question is this: do you not use mouth contact after you apply the lube? only breathing and touching, but no tongue contact? i don't know
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Ok so what you do is you get her out of the house, get some good food, since you male it might be hard to cook it yourself … lol … so go to woolies get some food, some candles her favorite love songs and a bottle of wine, dress nicely and make her sit down and pour her a glass of wine, I don’t like getting drunk either I can only have 2 savannahs then its lights out for me, so I understand what shes saying, but the fact that she doesn’t really drink will only be in your favor here, it means she wont need as much to get drunk, then you can give your girl a slow dance, whisper in her ear or do what ever gets her off, but don’t just put alcohol out there and say lets get pissed, And about the wee thing lol that’s happened to me before as well, gosh this is gona sound rude but it normally happens in doggy style when my BF goes real deep, so either u big or maybe just try a different position LOL, it could probably also be that she is nearing orgasm and think it’s a wee coz you cant we while having an orgasm you right, but perhaps she thinks it’s a wee when its actually an orgasm cumming up and she doest really know what an orgasm feels like does she
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male
reader, ggunit +, writes (7 January 2009):
ggunit is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think it is better with alcohol, but she doesn't really like to drink, she drinks when she is out with friends and me, or only with friends cause maybe she feels pressured, but never drinks when it is just us, because she says she doesn't feel pressured to drink.
so that sucks a bit..
when we are having sex, some times she says she needs to pee, and then runs off to the bathroom for a second then comes back. i have heard that a girl can't pee while having sex, just like a guy. i tell her not to think about it and not to care.
she says her gyni tells her it is cause when we have sex it pushes and applies pressure to her bladder.
i would really like to have drunk sex with her again. we used to, but not much anymore cause she doesn't really drink that much anymore. she says it makes her feel sick, not drunk sick, just normal sick.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Shoe so its not that there is anything wrong with her… have you ever heard guys say if you with your girl and you feel like you gona cum but don’t want to just yet, think of something gross and you wont cum… well a lot of guys told me it works, so perhaps she is so focused on having that orgasm that when she gets there all she can think about it having that orgasm and therefore looses the feeling, sometimes I find just thinking that my man is close to Cumming stops me from orgasming and that sucks so I try not to think about him just concentrate on the feeling, coz once you try to hard to get it you lose it, and I am sure it has happened to before? Its almost like taking a wee while someone is staring at your cock would you be able to wee LOL Reaching an orgasm isn’t an easy task for a girl your whole body and mind should be feeling it, you sound like you have tried everything, what bout alcohol that’s probably the worst thing you’ve ever heard but some girls go a bit wild when they get a bit drunk they let go maybe get a bottle of wine play some love songs start nibbling on her ear and see what happens, she might give into you, and once she discovers how to let go I am sure she will never for get how to do that again,
She needs to know how to reach pleasure herself you can only help her not teach her remember that, she is very lucky you sound like you have done everything to please your girl
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male
reader, ggunit +, writes (7 January 2009):
ggunit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks.
i do everything, apparently i am good with my mouth too. i even take the time to only spend time on her. she says that if feels like she is going to, or that it comes to the point where she just wants to let go and orgasm, but she just looses it, and then things just dry up and clamp up. she goes from being wet and it feeling good, to her just getting dry.
so its like when she gets to the point just before she orgasms, then it completely gets turned off..
maybe it is the pressure for her, or maybe she doesn't know how to realease her self and relax at that point instead of clamping up like she does.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): I don’t think that your girlfriend being sexually active at this age has anything to do with it, females are strange creatures, none of us are the same and our bodies react to things differently, but let me ask you, are you giving your girl enough forpaly? And do you know of ways to stimulate her clitoris (I hate that word… I call it a soft spot) many people don’t know this but just by rubbing that little angel and bring a woman pleasure beyond your wildest dreams, and because all woman are different it wont help rubbing her the same as another woman, best advice will be to get your girl very comfortable and explore her body softly and gently see wht she reacts to and what she doesn’t, I only discovered when I was 17 years old that rubbing that soft spot makes me feel hot .. LOL your girl might have to figure out her own body as well figure out what she likes on her own, and then she would be able to guide you as to how and were you have to touch to get her there. It makes sense if you can pleasure and satisfy yourself coz you don’t know how to how does can you expect someone else (and a man for that matter) to know how to please you? And how does your girl feel bout porn not hardcore porn soft porn? I discovered that that is a great help, I wont advise you doing this if your girl has any issues like with her body or something, coz then she would probably just be more insecure bout herself, so try and leave that as a last resort K ..?
You might feel like she is not feeling the same way bout you as she used to, but this might be cause she doesn’t feel the same way bout herself as she used to, can you imagine you not being able to reach orgasm and not knowing why … I think that might just put me off the whole act too, be gentle with her, and get her there I promise once you have taken her to that place (where she has never been before ) she’ll go back to normal, just don’t put to much pressure on the subject and remember the foreplay!
And then the last thing that I would like to mention to you since you are in south Africa pop into a clicks … yea clicks they sell this amazing lube, to give a girl a different sensation on that spot, you get one that’s called frostbite, it makes that area freezing cold so when you breathe on it its more intense, when you touch it LOL its really awesome but theres different ones so go make your choice, she is very lucky to have a guy that cares for her so much that he will go and ask strangers to help, really you can pat yourself on the back for that one.
Please keep me posted
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): That’s really hectic, im 22 and I cant imagine having sex without getting an orgasm …. Did your girlfriend speak to her gyni bout not being able to reach orgasm, and my angel are you stimulating and giving her enough foreplay to have an orgasm? See us girls have this beautiful spot that’s called the clitoris and if this is stimulated in just the right manner she should be able to reach orgasm, I am not saying that you are doing anything wrong, I only discovered how to make myself orgasm at the age of 17 LOL every woman’s body is designed differently and your girl should take some time to explore her own body find out what she likes and how she likes it then she would have to instruct you as to how to pleasure her, you obviously care a lot for this girl most guys I know just get off and then its over … to bad if the girl is still left panting for more… just keep making your girl feel sexy wanted desired and loved, try some lube as well, since you are in south Africa pop into a clicks they sell lube, but this kind that makes your clit feel tingly or hot or ice cold and it really helps an orgasm along
Let me know what happens
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