A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hey aunts, i have this guy who i grew up with and we never liked each other for anything else but friends when we were growing up...well long story short we've been having sex...we agreed to just be FWB and to not catch any feelings for one another...well i'll have to say that this has been a little challenging...but i've been doing pretty good...we might see each other once a week or once every two weeks...but lately he's been going against his own words by asking me if he can't make it will i call one of my other friends...and if i see him in public and don't immediately speak...he asks "were you going to speak to me"...so this has given me the impression that he's portraying that he doesn't want me to have feelings for him but it seems as though he's catching feelings for me...what do you all think??????????? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): Thanks everyone for your responses, i appreciate it...i agree he is using me, but im using him too...i do have feelings for him, but not to the point where i'd be emotionally distrubed if we never seen each other again...last night while out at a bar...once again when i didn't speak to him he walks up and asks me why didn't i come and speak to him...i think he may just feel he's special or something:)
my impression is we don't have to immediately acknowledge each other when im public if were only FWB, that's what makes me think he's going back on his word...yeah i do enjoy him chasing me...but i know and only expect sex from him...but i also realize that i want a relationship and having FWB relationships just doesn't satisfy me all the way anymore....thanks again for your responses
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): I think you are reading way too much into this and his comments. Men are possessive over women they are sleeping with, but that does not mean that he has feelings for you.
Quite the contrary, his actions speak louder than his words, he only sees you in public when you run into each other, if you don't speak to him, then he just thinks you are angry at him, nothing more or less.
He sees you once every two weeks or once a week at most. He is not going to elevate you to girlfriend status because you have been having sex with him. He is showing very little respect to you by using you in this way, but as long as you are cool with it, then he is going to continue to do it because guys like sex.
Women are wired differently than men, we are the ones who get feelings just from sex, it is biological. It does not work that way for men. And your question here indicates some kind of hope that this will turn into something more.
FWB is a guy's wet dream, it is a great deal for them, but not so great for you because of what I said earlier and because biologically you could become pregnant with his child and be bonded to him forever by being a single parent of his kid....Is this a good deal for you? Does this keep you waiting by the phone for his call when you could actually be going on real dates with men who are courting you and respect you?
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (19 June 2009):
well i dont think he is using you, because women have needs to but it maybe a case of like you said where he is feeling more for you than he would like if you want to you need to bring it up and see where you can go from here but i think you are getting off on him chasing behind you then again he may just want to be the only one that you are seeing for fwb i wish i could find out the out come on this story at this point anything can happen good luck girl
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (19 June 2009):
 I think he is using you. What a weird situation. dont let men use you. We as women can not cope with it as men do. You are proberly the one getting feelings for him.Ask him if he wants to go out with you and bring it out in the open. It is really daft this secret sex. What happens should you become pregnant - will he deny being the father!Speak to him.Keep in touch!
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