A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was involved in a friends with benefits situation with a guy for about 3 months. We had a mutual friend, and i would always be at their house, so was the guy. We would have so much fun together. One night he told me he wanted me....sexually. Before I got sexual with him I already had developed feelings for him, once we started my feelings intensified. I tried so hard to pretend I didn't want more, but emotionally it was too much for me to handle. I stop having sex with him and started distancing myself from him. He invited me to a party he was having and I took this as an invitation to have sex once everyone left. I told him I wasn't going to have sex with him and he responded with...."why do you always think I want to have sex?" To make this long story short he started telling his friends that I will be his woman, but I was scared to even take him serious because of the fwb situation. Now I can't get this out of my head nor him! Did I do the right thing by leaving him alone or should I have told him how I felt and took a chance? Please help!!!!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 July 2013):
 Sounds like letting him know you want more is in your best interest.
My current husband and I while a rare case of it did start out as NSA/FWB.... so it can happen but it's very very VERY rare.
by telling him the last time, that you would not have sex with him, you laid clear guidelines... now let him know what you would like.
true it's a risk you take that he will reject you but life is about living and living is about risks.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (15 July 2013):
 Hi, you have nothing to loose, just go ahead and meet up with him for coffee and tell me that you have feelings for him. Things can only get better. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Goodluck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): Seems like he is interested in more than sex so yes, invite him out to something small like lunch or brunch. And get to know each other. Have conversation. It can't hurt
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): Without realizing it, you did the best thing you could do.
You declined having sex and let him know that you're taking another approach. You showed up at his party, you let him know that there is an established interest; without sex being the only thing you have in common. He threw you a curve to see if you got the hint. You did.
So invite him out to dinner; or a get some tickets for a show. By attending a public event, and sharing time together away from the couch or the bedroom; you will get him to notice who you are as a woman and a person. He already knows you're great in bed. So now get to know each other in a less biblical sense.
Go for it, he threw you the bait: "he started telling his friends that I will be his woman, but I was scared to even take him serious!"
Don't wait too long. He'll think you're not interested.
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