A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What started as a casual NSA fwb has turned into a year long relationship so far. This guy I've been seeing and I have the strongest sexual chemistry ever, we spend a ton of time together talking and hanging out, we talk through email almost everyday, and it's like we make each other so happy. He has recently told me he has feelings for me and cares a lot about me. A few months ago before he confessed this, I slept with another man and old him and he told me to stop with the randoms. He got hurt. I was trying to distance myself because he always said not to get attached or too close and so I thought by finding someone it would take my moms off him and help me avoid my feelings for him as I always remembered what he told me. Anyways, I love him. I want to know if he feels the same. I'm hanging out with him tomorrow. I am not going to ask him straight forward but what can I say to get him tell me how he really feels? I appreciate for all your advice ahead of time. He did tell me he wants us to be exclusive recently which makes me think he does love me right? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2015): Thanks for all of your advice. I told him I was in love with him and he said he was too. Although he couldn't say it which I'm okay with. He will on his own time and I'm okay with it:)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2015): He is using you as a continuous supply of sex. You are to old to act like a young minded child and should notice what you just told the world. He has feelings but nothing more. Ask him whats up or move on. Youll wish you have when you find out hes with someone else or hes waiting for another. And im a guy i know how it goes. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2015): Sometimes guys want to keep a woman just to himself , despite the fact that they don't care much for her. They tell women to be exclusive but in fact continuing their FWB game.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 January 2015):
 He wants to be exclusive, which means he's on his way to loving you. That takes time, and he is definitely wanting a relationship. There's a saying -- first learn to stand before you learn to run. Don't go from sitting to running before learning to stand and walk.
If you're interested in him for a relationship (what you have now is a FWB, not a relationship), then go for it and see how it goes. It will change some, but hopefully for the good.
As for you sleeping with another guy during the FWB, you didn't do anything wrong. In fact, his "stop with the randoms" was out of line because FWB is no-strings sex at its core, meaning either of you could sleep with whoever you felt like with no backlash.
Someone always gets hurt in an FWB. This time, it was him. He had feelings. So where do you go from here?
Don't go from zero to "I love you". Go from zero to "Let's see where this goes". An FWB is not a "first step" in a relationship. It's a non-relationship. So do you want a relationship with him or not? That is the only question that needs answering.
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