A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In need of some help guys and girls! Probably an easy answer for a lot of you, but try and put yourself in my situatin!I am happy with my boyfriend, love him to bits. Only one problem i have....We are living together in a flat, at the moment we are able to afford the rent and bills (just). That is good obviously, but i am getting frustrated with him a little from time to time, specially when i'm at work. You see i work full time, mon, tues, wed, fri and sat. He works ONLY SATURDAY AND SUNDAY!! And does absolutely nothing monday to friday. I am getting extremely bothered now by the fact that he is always at home, doing very little, either sleeping, eating, playing his annoying games; computer, ps2, ps3, psp, whatever else he has.I really wish he would get more work, cause it is possible, he just won't do it! I have explained to him how i feel, and he said he understood, but clearly he doesn't cause he hasn't done anything about it, and doesn't seem as though he is going to any time soon.I even gave him choice he gets more work and i stay or he doesn't and i'll leave. He got all upset and said he didn't want me to leave, but its been weeks since this happened and still he has done NOTHING about getting more work. I don't want to have to leave him, cause i do love him very very much, and other than the work thing, everything is wonderful. I want a future with him, but without him working how is it going to be possible. He's not earning any extra that he can put aside as savings for our future. I have been since we got together (18months ago). But he's been doing the same thing (working 2 days a week) for at 4 years now!!!How do i get him out of this damned cycle?!?!?!PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!!Thanksx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): Oh, this is so simple.
You tell him that unless he gets off his arse, puts his games away and gets himself off down to the jobcentre and starts to pull his weight you're off or he's out - one or the other - and mean it. You tell him you're not coming back until things change.
It might hurt you to do it but think of the future. Do you really want to spend it with a no-good layabout or a go-getter?
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 He has got himself in to a situation were he feels that its ok for him to only work 2 days, and although you are asking him to get a job he is not going to listen because he thinks you are just nagging and nothing will come of it. You have tried everything and he wont listen to you, but you need to make him realise that you arent all words and start planning ahead. You said to him you were going to leave if things didnt change and they didnt yet you stayed this is showing him that you have no intentions of leaving him therefore he is not even going to try.
Sit down with him and tell him that he has 2 weeks to go and look for work or else you are going to find a smaller apartment to rent just for yourself out of your savings. Show him that you mean it. It would be different if he was trying for work but he cant get it, but if there is work available then he needs to get off his bum and go and get it. Sit down with him and offer to go through all the job adds with him and maybe even help him write up a c.v. Try and do it together this might get him motivated and get him to visit the job centre with his resume and ask about work, you go with him to make sure that he is actually doing it. Goodluck.
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