A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello DearCupid...I am frustrated and confused. I am in love with a coworker. I've been stuck in a status quo for quite a while now. There's something missing but I don't know what it is or why it's there.To keep it simple:1. We're both single2. Mutual attraction3. I know she cares about me4. We're very compatible especially when she isn't being moody5. She knows that I deeply deeply care for her.So, what could possibly be missing? I don't want to spill my guts as we work together in a small firm and I don't want to make anything weird for her. But, I hate being stuck like this. I won' move on to someone else because my feelings for her are strong and at the same time I am paranoid that she will meet someone else. I feel like I am taken for granted and she fully doesn't see me....But she definitely used to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): She may sense your paranoia. Once she gets wind that your are hooked, she can do whatever because she knows you will be there. And, she may not even be doing anything intentionally, but given your "needy" state it may appear to you that things are spinning out of control. You need to chillax. Work relationships are fraught with difficulty and risk under the best of circumstances. Throw neediness into the equation, and it can become unbearable. Just take things easy. If what you say is true, and there is no one else, then it will work out.
A
male
reader, ArsenalFC87 +, writes (1 December 2010):
 exactly what Jmtmj said.
Also what do you mean by "when she isnt being moody"? How is she toward you when she is being moody? How does she know that you deeply care for her? Did you convey this to her by certain actions or did you flat out tell her?
The worse thing one can do is stick to assumptions. keep in mind they're merely assumptions; you dont really know for sure.
You've got to be at least 87% sure that the person has feelings for you before you take the risk of putting yourself out there for them. Of course there are exceptions to this rule and people may beg to differ, but i for one, dont like having my feelings hurt and will try avoiding that route at all costs. Unless the girl is Sarah Michelle Gellar, im keeping those feelings to myself until im sure or at least pretty sure that the feelings are mutual.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 "I don't want to spill my guts as we work together in a small firm and I don't want to make anything weird for her"
What if she feels the same way?
Has she rejected you before or told you she only wants to be friends?
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