A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes I still feel like I'm struggling to get over a short term relationship I had some months ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm a stronger person than I was and I feel a lot happier within myself. I just miss the connection me and my ex shared and I really wish things could have worked out. Unfortunately circumstances were the reason we broke up due to university commitments and so I know I have to keep moving on. She has since found a new boyfriend, so I know I must try not to think about that and focus on myself.My main problem is that we have been broken up for nearly four months now and we were only together for 4 1/2 months, so why am I still struggling to deal with this from time to time? I sometimes feel like I'll never meet somebody who I will share such a strong connection with. Never find somebody as fun, or happy or great in the bedroom. Why? I know deep down that I will some day when the timing is right, so why do these doubts keep surfacing? I'm only 22 for God's sake, I shouldn't have the slightest doubt in my mind, but for some reason I do!From time to time I struggle to deal with the loss of my short term relationship and doubt that I will find love again. Why?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry for the delayed reply and thanks for your answers.
Bluessy, that sounds right enough. I just wish my emotions would "melt away" like you say. To an extent they have, I know that I will find happiness again because I've been through this exact same thing before a few times. I haven't dated much, but of all the women I have dated 3 of them I class as "significant" and I lost all of them in a similar way - 1) was a long distance love who didn't have time for me when she went to uni, 2) I lost because I was moving to university and 3, the most recent) I lost because I was leaving university and she didn't want a long distance relationship. I completely agree education must be put first. ? I just wish I could stop trying to blame myself and get over it. I've been without her almost as long as I've been with her now and yet I still feel somewhat attached. Should I not be over it by now?
Mint, thank you, but FYI, this I'm straight! haha
A
female
reader, mint +, writes (11 June 2011):
 Was he your first love? If so then its understandable, the first person you fall in love with will always have a piece of your heart. You should have a conversation with the guy and see how he is. If he has moved on then it might give you the incentive to do so. But if he still hasnt gotten over you then you should dicuss trying to have a long-distance relationship.
Hope everything goes okay for you :)
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A
female
reader, bluessy  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 Hello Why,
It sounds as though you gave a lot of yourself to this woman. Your emotions towards her are not melting away because your breakup wasn't based on someone cheating, abuse, etc. You may not like the idea of the two of you breaking up, but you respect it; so this leaves you still in a vulnerable state. I am not clear as to who was the one who had to go off to University? Anyhow an education is very important. My dear, you will find someone new and exciting, just be patient. When you do find that special someone love and enjoy her for her! Do not compare her to your ex girlfriend! It also sounds to me as though you haven't dated much, so go out there and simply enjoy other women. Please, enjoy yourself! Relax but keep your mind busy and focus. All The Best!
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