A
male
age
36-40,
*onMexico
writes:So I started going out with my current girlfriend after meeting her at the bar, she was a rebound for me at the time so things didn't really start off intending to turn into a relationship but it did- and that made things tough. Anyways the sex was amazing and that kept my in it until I started to fall for her, now I'm in love and it's been almost 15 months... the trouble is, I'm a victim of the bait and switch.So in the last 3 and a half months she moved away for school to the States and before she moved she was in Europe for a month so we didn't see each other much and JUST before she moved was really when I fell in love.The sex used to be out of control, I had no qualms! Oral sex, all positions, all the time, it was great. But now, nothing. It's like once I fell in love everything stopped. Now I don't get blowjobs, even when I ask for them. The sex is lackluster, she has completely lost her libido. I've tried talking about it, tried talking about why things have changed and it's really mystifying. But now I'm starting to be at my witts. As selfish as it may sound, but like THE SEX WAS AMAZING, how can this be? I don't think I can be with someone, even if I love them, if the sex is that terrible now. Especially when I know the potential she has...She says she won't give blowjobs now because of a bad experience one time when she was giving me head at university in an empty classroom (yah it was awesome), but she tried to swallow after and gagged and like I don't know, now she says she has a phobia of cum. So great, I'm really fucked now. And it's not like I'm not clean: I'm shaven, great shower habits, brush my teeth lol... anyways yah like this nis retarded because even in my last relationship I got head like every day so I am getting really frustrated.Wow that's long, but yah any general relationship/sex advice on this one??
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (29 November 2008):
 sounds like you got really carried away. She gave you her answer so you must accept it. In any serious relationship after a while the intensity can wear off as you get more settled. But, from what I've read she probably has been put off from the bad experience. If you do rekindle any of it, ease off a bit is my advice. She probably has moved on with moving further away from you and finding other more important things in her life. hope this helps.
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