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female
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*lackrose1988
writes:Right, since I started university I've become close friends with this guy. It's the first time I've been really good friends with a straight guy and I'll admit that I did have a pretty major crush on him at first.I don't have a crush on him any more (he's too much of a friend now to think about him "that" way) but his girlfriend of five weeks is beginning to come between us. I used to be on friendly terms with her but recently she's been giving me the cold shoulder, despite her boyfriend making a point several times that our friendship is nothing more than just that. For example, on nights out he jokingly dances suggestively with all the other girls in our friendship group but pointedly keeps his hands off me. (I don't have a problem with this, infact I prefer him to do this as it gives his gf one thing less to be annoyed at me about).He's a very attentive boyfriend and they spend a lot of time together. However, as he and I are in the same classes and often work together for our seminar we do seem to spend quite a bit of time together one-on-one. He's one of the few people who knows about the extent of the eating disorder I'm currently recovering from and has cooked me a meal a few times when we've been doing class work. Basically he comes across as being very fond of me, but just as a friend.I feel that his girlfriend has got the wrong end of the stick completely but I've no idea what to do about it. I've tried to spend less time with my friend and certainly text him less than I used to. However, I don't want to lose his friendship but I feel as though his girlfriend is gradually driving a wedge between us. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006): The girlfriend is only 5 weeks his girlfriend, she could be out of the picture in a month or so anyway.....but I would just try being friendly and attentive to her when you see her, that is about all you can do, and as far as your mutual friend, just be respectful of their relationship and don't try to compete with her for his attention when she is around, let him do all of that on his own....give him and her some space, just being worried and jealous over the girlfriend sends off the wrong vibe, just let it go.....stand back and let him come to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006): i think you have to realize that even though you are just friends she sees you as a threat....whether its an insecurity of hers or not, try not to make things harder on your friend trying to prove the point. Be more of a casual friend right now and just see him at work or whatever, or if you can try to be her friend too...but away from him... and if she is that insecure he won't stay with her for long anyway....good luck
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