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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, just wondering if you had any suggestions on how to gain respect from a guy? Quite lengthy, but please take the time to answer.The thing is, last year me and this hot guy got together one time because he thought I was nice looking. I had known him for 4 years before this. From then on, we had a strong friendship but based on sex. I loved it at the time, until he got a girlfriend and it all stopped. That gave me a little time to mature and I got an older boyfriend etc etc. It was when we split up with our partners that it all started again, the sex, everything.I don't want to do this anymore, though. I fancy the pants off him but I think he is losing respect for me, using me. Earlier on today when I was at work, he came into the Girl's toilets when he knew I was there and he started making out with me, and forced me to give him a handjob. He wanted me to have full sex with him but I said no, and he wouldn't let me leave the cubicle. After 20 minutes of saying no, he just stormed out. He mumbled, "All that, for nothing." "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, he shouted, "I'm pissed off at you." And he just walked away. I asked him what it would take for him to talk to me again, and carry on being close, and he replied, "a quick blowjob tomorrow will seal the deal."We're both teens, and he has played girls in his time. He used to tell me all the stories, because we were friends. Close friends. I feel as though he is involving me in his games. How do I gain this respect back? Please reply soon.Mel x
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (7 July 2006):
 Sorry, but this guy is taking you for a ride. He is using you.
He is pushing you into sex. He is guilt tripping you when you don't give it to him. He's not showing you respect.
He is not your friend. Friends don't use each other. Friends show each other respect. He's not doing that to you. He's not your friend.
You need to get rid of this guy, and fast. What's more, you need to work on your own self respect and self esteem. People can only take advantage of you if you let them.
Once you have left him, these are some of the questions you should be looking for answers to...
- Why was I willing to have sex with a guy that didn't respect me?
- Why was I willing to stay with a guy that took advantage of me and emotionally blackmailed me?
- Why was I willing to act like a friend to someone who was only pretending to be my friend?
- Why was I willing to give someone what they wanted in a relationship (free sex with no strings attached) whilst I didn't get them to give me what I wanted in the relationship?
It's a very good sign that you wrote this post. From what you have said, you are developing a sense of what you want and deserve, and more importantly, you show that you are willing to take steps to get it. Stay on that path, it's the one that will lead you to the loving and healthy relationship that you are looking for (and not with this guy). Good luck.
A
female
reader, Angel Wings +, writes (7 July 2006):
 You will have to obtain more self respect, self reassurance, and self confidence - Forget the current B/F, he sounds like he is not worthy of your friendship.
To show you have more self confidence ~ weaqr a smile...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2006): A guy will only treat you with as much respect as you give to yourself...by allowing him to use you this way there is no way to gain his respect. The best thing you can do is leave him alone and not allow him to use you anymore...
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