A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think she doesn't know what she wants. She admits we didn't have a bad relationship, but I smothered her, and didn't give her her space to breathe she needed. She also admits I'm a great person and was amazing. I've since met her and she says things that don't indicate she knows what she wants. Or, she doesn't want to give me anything to go by. I told her that during that conversation I caught some things she said, that made me believe she was still pulling away from me, and not considering getting back together. Or perhaps she didn't want to tell me anything to get my hopes up. I told her today, "I caught some things in our conversation yesterday, and my overall perception is that you're still screwing me over, just doing it in a nice tone of voice. Maybe I'm wrong, Maybe not. I don't know, but I'm sure you'll let me know if I am. However, friends is no longer an option with you and me. I won't disrespect myself like that. If you want anything from me come to me and then we'll talk about it. I still wish you the best. Okie dokie. That's it. Bye." Should I be her friend or not? And did I do the right thing? I'm wanting her to come back, but I've tried telling her I want her, and that I've changed some things, and she knows and believes that things would be better in the future if we got back together. She still isn't coming back though, and honestly, I can't have her as a friend and feel just fine about everything if I know we won't get another chance. I just want to maximize my chances of getting her back, and I wanted to know if there's anything I can do to increase those chances. I'm clueless. Thanks for any help from anyone. Lost.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): ~POINT BLANK~
NO!
God Bless.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): Let her have her "space" and "breathe" all she wants. If she's any good, she'll realize she enjoyed her time with you and since she can't have you as a friend, she'll have to work for something more.
However, it's very likely that she'll just go find someone else to give her what she wants. You definitely don't want a girl like that.
So, to maximize your chances, keep ignoring her and hope she comes to her senses. If you give in to the "just friends" thing, you'll lose her forever.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): You seem like a really sweet guy. We ladies need more available guys like you. Forget about her. She doesn't know what she wants or has felt the need to breakup with you so she won't be in the wrong for playing the field. Cut all ties with her. She's stringing you along as a backdrop. Close the chapter on her and enjoy the next one because it only gets better.
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A
female
reader, comeonjesusthishurtstoomuch +, writes (14 December 2010):
 i have been a girl in love and i always wanted to be with him she doesn't love you just wants to led you on the shelf till she finds someone else sorry hun take it from a girl
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