A
female
age
26-29,
InCharliesShoes
writes:So relationships hey... They can be too mushy and make you cringe for yourself and the rest of humanity or they can be romantic with roses and a prince, the white steed... wow reality check someone's been watching too much Disney! Or they can be too much about 'the dance with no pants'- but I shant get into that! Either way I've never been in one, but all my girl friends have and I've been the observer so to speak, looking at the relationships they've had. No wonder I seem frigid.... but all i can say is ive learnt you have to respect yourself well before you get into a relationship because if you'll not respect yourself how can you expect others to? ALWAYS THIS GOES FOR GUYS AND GIRLS! Stick up for your friends because when your lover of the month dumps you on your sorry back side then friends are what you need in this world...Charlie x
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reader, InCharliesShoes +, writes (10 December 2013):
InCharliesShoes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both so much, was nice to have a male insight on this actually! :) Charlie
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): Yes, Charlie! Relationships are exactly as you've described them from your perspective.You are very clever and funny. I agree with everything you've said. I see them as a way we relate to another person,by sharing our likenesses and differences. We shouldn't expect other people to complete who we are. When you decide to commit to another person, you should give them the best that you are.It may not last forever; but they will cherish your memory for a very long long time.Even if you are a couple, you are still two whole people.Never believe you are half, or a part of anyone else. They may leave you someday, for any number of reasons. Then you are again on your own; so that means you're still whole, and single. Someone you cared about is missing, but you are still your own best friend. You will still survive. Sometimes we have to leave for good reasons; or we are forced to leave for bad. Be true to yourself all the same.Try to forgive those that hurt you, and apologize when you know it's your fault. And mean it! Try not to repeat it!I've seen relationships where one person does all the work; while the other just laps it all up like they are special and all entitled. They expect a lot; but that usually spoils that person. They get lazy, needy,and greedy. The other person feels all used up. Somebody has to go when that happens. You deserve better than that.There are also relationships where the guy has to always tell his girl how pretty she is, how perfect she is, how she is so wonderful above all the other girls in the world.While she spends all her time feeling down on herself, and comparing herself to other girls she thinks he might find prettier. Maybe she's always afraid that he is looking at other girls. That is called insecurity. It wears a guy out.He will start looking at other girls, because he's tired of her whining.There's the guy who is never happy with the girl he has.He's hitting on his best mate's girl, his girlfriend's friends, or her sister; and gets jealous when his girl gets compliments from other guys. That's a jerk. Girls should dump guys like that. He'll end up breaking her heart.Then there are relationships where someone is cheating.They sneak around and hide. Chatting and texting other people. Being crafty and slick. Their girlfriend or boyfriend trusts them; and feel safe. Thinking they put their heart in the right hands. It's so sad when they find out the truth, or catch them. Then they breakup and everybody feels hurt. Especially, the one who got cheated on. It's makes it hard to trust anybody else; because they don't want to ever experience that terrible feeling again.The worst relationship of all, is when people are violent or abusive toward each other. You have to get out of those relationships. If you are stalked or terrorized, you have to report it to the police. Never feel it's your fault when people can't control their anger. Blame them for lack of self-control and a bad attitude. Get out, and don't look back.I believe, if you really work on yourself, love yourself, and learn from your mistakes with every relationship that doesn't work. Eventually; you'll get it right. You will find (and deserve) someone special. You'll know it when it happens. You'll be ready, because you know that no relationship is perfect. No relationship is guaranteed to last forever, no matter how good; and they are not fairy-tales. Relationships are real-life, with real live people who have real feelings. People make mistakes. Some people are truly bad; and really need to be kicked to the curb. Never give anyone too many chances, if they hurt you. Let them go, don't waste your feelings.Don't use the word love too soon. Know the difference between being very fond of someone, or a crush. Love requires "two people" to care for each other deeply in the same way.Both people have to give each other the same amount of attention, respect, and affection; then over time, those feelings may grow into love. Sometimes they don't, or things come to an early ending. That is what life does sometimes. Don't give up; you'll find someone else just as good, or better.If someone hurts you over and over. You have given them the chance to make it up; but they still hurt you. That isn't love. Love comes with respect for your feelings. You have to compromise and not always think you're right. You can't be selfish. You have to earn trust, and do the right things to keep it. You can't have love without trust. If you lose trust; then you have to start all over to gain it back. Otherwise; it's best that you be dumped; because you aren't willing to work to build back what you have broken. I like what you wrote; because it shows that some girl is going to be very lucky, Charlie. You are the type of friend you can rely on. Your parents should be very proud!
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