A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This may seem like an odd problem but...no matter how much I drink I just cannot get drunk! I started university last year and before that thanks to the friends I had and a fairly strict upbringing I'd never really drank alcohol in large amounts. My friends I've made at uni invite me out, usually to go drinking and are drunk fairly quickly, I outdrink everyone (including 6ft guys) and don't feel any affects. Is this normal? Or is everyone acting more drunk than they are?I've also tried getting stoned twice but again I felt no affects. I'm beginning to think people are just imagining things. Just to clarify it was just the twice in the year and I hated the taste and feel of the smoke so much it's not something I'm trying again.It's beginning to affect my social life, while everyone else is having a good time I just sit there bored because I'm sober and it's virtually the only hobby people seem to have. I've been cancelling a lot lately as I just don't look forward to sitting in a pub/club for hours on end listening to crap music while other people either flirt or talk rubbish. I feel like my friends are beginning to get distant. I am also aware that when I've tried, I've drank far more than is healthy for my size (5'4 and around 115 pounds) and gender. When I've really pushed it I'm ill later on but with none of dizzy/happy feelings other people seem to get beforehand. What should I do? I've looked for people with different interests but there don't seem to be any. I've gone to some clubs/societies and unless you go out for a drink with them after, you just get left out. But whenever I do go out then I'm always bored and am always being pressured into drinking more. The only alternative seems to be become a loner with no friends. It's really making me miserable. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 2 years.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): Thanks for the advice everyone:)The thing is this year I lived in the halls of residence which is only a 5 min walk from the centre of town so there's no need for a designated driver (I don't even have a car). Next year I'll be house sharing which is ten mins away. Chatting to people is ok at the beginning of the night but by the end they can barely string a sentence together or I get these pervy guys come up basically asking for sex. I've ended up just talking to bouncers and bar staff on more than one occasion. I have tried really hard to find people that don't drink. As I mentioned I went to societies, I joined a dance club outside of uni but it was full of older people, I even tried meeting people online. I don't know what else I could try or where to find it. The only thing left for me to do is join clubs I have no interest in.Yes I could stand my ground and not be pressured into having a drink but if I did that I'm worried I'll be an outcast and have to go through the rest of uni with no friends. The area I'm in is full of students who all seem to worship alcohol.Also to Odds, I've tried fasting and all types of alcohol you mentioned inc rum. The only thing I can't drink because I hate the taste is wine/beer.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): Cindy gives you excellent advice here! In my experience, however, that's all some young people do, that is drink and have sex and do drugs. What did I do? I LEFT MY ENVIRONMENT and moved away! I dont think your case is that extreme, but cindy provides you with great words. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 May 2011):
 Funny, that's precisely what made me a non drinker. I don't see it like a bad thing at all.
When I was younger I'd try to keep up with, in fact to outdo, my drinking friends. But there must be something strange in the way I metabolize alcohol, because I'd never get that "buzz" or euphoric feeling as the other people,I'd just would remain sober ...and fell soundly asleep ( and probably snoring, I guess ) by the end of the night. Eventually I figured out that I did not want to wast money and time just to sleep a dreamless sleep and wake up with a headache in the morning.
I must say that I know a lot of people drink as a way to "loosen up " , being more social, chatty , flirty, being able to dance in public or hit on on people they like etc... but for an Italian it's sort of superfluous, I guess most of us would need a drink with the opposite effect, to make us shut up and sit still and dampen our exhibitionistic streak :)
What do you do...relax and go with the flow, but don't cave in to pressure for more drinks that you don't even enjoy. You don't need to sit there stiff and bored, you can talk and flirt and chat up people also without alcohool in you , better in fact, less chances of making a fool of yourself, and, as the other poster says, you'll be just precious as a designate driver. Order some long drink and sip it veeeeery slowly , rather than downing shots, or just lie:) - go get your own drinks, order Coke and say it's Cuba Libre, if you have to.
Apparently though the drinking scene is not your scene, so, don't quit cold turkey , but ease gradually your way out of it, and find an alternative. There does not seem to be any people with different interests ? rubbish, you just haven't looked hard enough. Start cultivating new interests or hobbies, try discovering your passions, join some clubs or activities, or start your own, you'll have alternatives !
It's way more fun going to see a good movie or a play, or talking about movies and plays with other film / theatre buffs, than idle for hours at a pub counter acting silly. Or play an instrument or sing with music lovers. Play cards and join tournaments. Go to cooking classes and organize little gourmet dinners at home. Sure ,all these examples may not work for you and not be of your interest,but there are countless others, I don't buy the "cliche'" that " young people are only into alcohool and sex ".
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (19 May 2011):
 First off, find a drink you can enjoy for the taste. Then just sip it slowly, be a social drinker. You may get lucky and find something that affects you more (for instance, whiskey and vodka have the same alcohol content, but whiskey gets you more drunk because of what else is in it), but just finding something you can enjoy is good enough.Second, volunteer to be the designated driver/sober person (or wrangler, like my firneds and I call it). It's easier to avoid the pressure to drink if you're there keeping a sober eye on people. Honestly, every drinking group needs at least one wrangler for safety's sake anyway.Third, you don't have to be drunk to flirt, chat, or dance. You just have to be willing to do it. Smile at an attractive guy, see if you can find a relatively sober one to talk to. Find another group's designated driver and hang out with them; even if it's only for a few minutes before they have to leave, it will put you in a better mood.Lastly (and most importantly), try to make your connections with people during the daytime. Get close to someone during the day, when you're both sober, and you can still go out with them later and enjoy it more. Make the connection first, then drink with them. You're right, it's very hard to make new friends when only one of you is sober, but it can be fun to be the sober when when you're already friends. You may even get someone to be the second wrangler with you. Being a guy, I was able to do that in LAN parties, but you could do it in classes, at work, or at those clubs you mentioned (sports are particularly good for making connections, though they also tend to drink harder later).If all else fails, try fasting the day before you drink. Go slow, and stay with the wrangler, so you don't get sick. The fats and proteins in foods can prevent alcohol absorbtion, especially if you have a very healthy or very fatty diet.
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