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Friend Zone?

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (29 January 2009) 3 Comments - (Newest, 6 February 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, Blackjack writes:

So I am hoping for some guidance or advice from some of the people on here. I have this girl who I have liked for a few years and we went to college together and still keep in touch and hang out every couple of weeks or so. Two years ago we got drunk and made out and it was not the end of out friendship but it made it kind of weird for a bit, but we are beyond that, and a few weeks ago in January we got drunk and made out some more and got pretty far, I also told her I had liked her for a while, she played surprised but I think she had to have know I liked her, and asked why and I was honest and told her I liked her cause she is smart, funny, has a good relationship with her family and so on. She also told me I was too nice to her, but I replied I like to see my friends happy and that makes me happy. We did not sleep together but it was only for lack of protection, after our drunken night of fun we messed around some more and I asked her if she felt odd about the night before she said no and I said neither did I.

So my question is this “How have people gone from similar points with relationships?”, I kinda think I am just the nice guy friend zone which I would prefer not to be in, but I am having trouble reading her signals if they are even there.

She has an ex that she has broken up with and still kind of sees every now and then, but feels its won’t work out for lack of religions chemistry and him not wanting to move closer to her. She had a rough weekend and spent it with him I think and seemed to be sad or down when I talked to her this week and said she has guy problems. I want to talk to her about them but I want to try and talk the fine line between the interested guy and the caring friend. If that line even still exists.

I have her coming over tonight to pick up her skis and I invited her out to dinner with me, and want some advice on how to proceed.

It can’t be all bad she wanted me to give her a back rub and is going to do a St. Patrick’s day run with me, I don’t know still kind of confused and sorry if this is convoluted and does not make sense.

I thank you for any advice and support you have,

Sincerely,

Blackjack

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A male reader, Oriol United States +, writes (6 February 2009):

time to have a "real" talk with each other. you both ain't psychic and know whats on each others mind. so ask her straight up

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A female reader, bubbles 53winks United Kingdom +, writes (2 February 2009):

Hi there well hon I am a little concerned because i feel you are falling for this girl big time,You have got to ask her how she feels about you, and if it isnt the answer you want then stay mates but date other girls, As i think if you carry on like this you may get hurt, yes you are making out with each other but why, Is it because you like each other or just needs,Just back away a little and see if she comes to u. Good luck hon bubbles 54winks

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009):

Some friends can go from friends to "more"!

I reckon she likes you more than you know. I mean how do you know if all this time when you've been thinking of her she's not been thinking of you?

Why don't you try asking her if she wants to go from friends that make out when drunk to having a proper relationship?

All the best xx

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