A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf asked me to call the pizza place on his phone. Whe n I picked it up I saw he accidentally had left up his web browser from when he was walking to work. It had a internet page up of girls in underwear posing - aka porn type stuff. I don't usually feel uncomfy with porn but this freaked me out based on the fact it wasn't proper porn, just slim girls in their underwear and also because he was looking at it on the way to work. Is this normal and should I just get over it?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (10 November 2011):
 Most porn is just "slim girls [not] in their underwear." If you don't have a problem with a "normal" porn, I don't see why this is something to worry about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011): So clothed girls posing is somehow worse than X-rated porn? How does that work?
If it bothers you, talk to him calmly about it. Ask him why he feels the need to look at that on his phone on the way to work. Don't sound accusing or angry, just have a normal conversation and listen to what he says. Then tell him how it made you feel. As your bf, he should care about your feelings and not just dismiss them.
To me (a guy), it's weird how "normal" this has become. As I heard someone say, it used to take time, money and effort to obtain porn. Now it takes time, money and effort to avoid it.
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A
female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (10 November 2011):
 he may have been bored, i've had a number of guys tell me they look at pretty girls when they're bored. Beats me why. Its true we do feel threatened if we think our partner prefers looking at someone else etc etc, but if your sex life is good and you are happy overall in your relationship, a few naughty pictures shouldn't change that. If however he chooses porn over you, then i would bring it up with him.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (10 November 2011):
 Yeah you should probably just get over it but if it was really that easy you wouldn't have written in, right? we all know guys like porn and most of us pretend to be cool with it but admit it, we feel a little threatened. Many of us carry the notion that if they loved us, they wouldn't need anything else, so our ego's always take a kick in the pants when we discover they're secretly whacking off to images of other women in or out of their underwear. It's an age old problem that most of us never figure out how to deal with or resolve. Once you gripe at a guy about his porn, he just gets better about hiding it. You may think he stops dabbling in it when he removes it from his phone, until you find a magazine hidden in his closet, or under the seat of his truck. And then you feel crappy all over again like you don't measure up; are not sexy enough, cute enough or thin enough to fulfill him. And I have viable advise for those feelings. They swear they love us while they're drooling over some hot, skinny blonde with big boobs and you're a 5'4 brunette with at 34B chest. How's that suppose to make you not feel threatened? All I can say is be the best you can be, and be quirky, funny, interestng self and remember it's you he will climb into bed with at night. Good luck honey. No matter how old we get, we never like sharing our man with another woman even if she is only a virtual image.
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