A
female
age
30-35,
*arenival
writes:i just found out my ex (broke up with me less than a week ago) cheated on me. i'm trying to deal with things in the best way possible. i'm not doing psycho ex stuff, or trying not to. i'm letting out steam by talking to my friends. i constantly tell them how he's a douche, etc haha. but i get in these ruts where i feel so guilty about even forgiving him. i have a weird feeling in my stomach, and then i regret ever saying anything about him.. i wish i kept everything to myself. but i know i didn't do anything wrong.. why am i feeling this way? also, will the trust issues go away? i'm trying to imagine how theres better people out there, but i feel like anyone who starts off nice always has a terrible, manipulating side to them. does this go away? how do you get away from that?
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (27 February 2009):
 Yes and No.
Yes, the feeling of being sick in your stomach will go away, as you return to enjoying life and have fun again with your friends.
No, not all men/women are manipulative.
Consider yourself lucky and blessed that you are learning from life in your young adult life (hugs to you). Now you are equipped with the knowledge and skill to recognize both the good and the bad characters of people.
Time will heal you, as they say. Some may take only a short while to heal, others take longer. But lets not that make you take away your own opportunity to enjoy life. How? You still have single girl friends, right? Or guy friends that you like hanging out with without fear of getting romantically involved? Go hang out at the beach with them, or go hiking with them, or have picnics in a park or a lake or a stream nearby, or play firsbee with your dog (they are so cute when they do that). Or if you are into "games", play chess with the most advanced chess player that you know in your school/area, or play computer games with friends. You will so exhausted from laughing and playing that you will not have time to think about your breakup pains.
But do yourself a favor, badmouthing people (ex or friends) never brings any good to anyone. So please do not waste your time and eneergy doing that. You already expereienced the side effect of it LOL (your feeling of regret saying bad things about your ex). You only stoop to his level (or lower) by doing that. You are a much better person than he is.
Enjoy life! in a good way of course :-)
Cat
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