A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I´ve been with my bf almost two years. I really love him, he loves me,he´s caring,we laugh together,we match..But. There is one big BUT that I see in our relationship and that he doesn´t know of. It´s that he is friends with his ex who he dated like 4 years. And I´m extremely jealous of that. I just can´t stand they chat on social networks from time to time, I hate they meet on parties because they have mutual friends(he´s from another town so I can´t be there all the time)..The thing is I can´t tell him I know all these stuff because I secretely read his chats with her..and when he says he´s going out he says he goes with friends so I can´t tell nothing.Last year he even went with other his friends at her b-day party. (I read that in their chat where she invited him)We had another plans but he cancelled it with words he forgot he was invited at b-day party of one of his friends. When I asked what friend he said you don´t know her. So I got mad that he prefers her over our plans. He suggested me to come with him there but I refused. It would be awkward to me to appear there. So he went without me..I was mad at him few days..It´s almost year since that and my thoughts still goes to this event and I think I´ve never forgiven this to him. And their friendship still goes on..Help me please how can I overcome this jealousy which is killing me and how to accept they two to be friends..I can´t tell him that I know all the stuff because I can´t tell him I spy his chats with her.. thank you for advices
View related questions:
his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2013): I have been in similar situations such as this where you were unhappy with an event from the past which is never really dealt with properly and your mind keeps on harping back to it. I also fully understand that you feel uncomfortable with his contact with the ex. I have been with a man for many years who maintains contact with an ex - he sees her when he goes North and meets her for coffee if she comes to London. They were too close to my mind and when I found out that he had actually discussed a problem we were having with her and asked for advice that was it for me. He said that he would no longer keep in contact with her but I have found out that he does still keep in contact behind my back and has lied to me.The problem with these things is that they are never going to go away. Your bf is going to want to hang with his mates and they are all going to keep in contact whether you like it or not. I too was called a jealous f***r and invited along but I did not feel comfortable and did not want to meet her. In that respect she kind of wom over me so I would urge you to meet this person if you can bear to just so you can see what you are dealing with and then you can fathom out if there is any more to it coming from her side. I personally hate being in this situation and am waiting to see how it all pans out but I personally need to be with someone who is only interested in me and keeps exes in the past where they belong.
|
