A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Back in July I met a man that I gave my heart to. Well things didn't go how I wanted them, I got pregnant in August, and in September, the day after I miscarried, he dumped me. He'd already been seeing someone else. It was very hard to get over, and there are still days that I cry about what happened.Well... this week has been crazy. The girl he cheated on me with dumped him, and I've found out he's been lying about quite a few things. We hadn't talked since the very beginning of October. He's down on his luck (flat broke, no car, might lose his job) and it's always been my nature to be forgiving... and help people when they need it...The thing is, I'm conflicted about what I should do... I need help!
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 As with all of these types of questions, the answer may not be as easy...Assume you help him out, and visualize as realistically as possible, what you will be doing together exactly 1 year from now.
Does the image in your head make you smile or cry?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's so hard not to want to help him. And this may sound strange but when we met I was in this situation, granted he did nothing positive to contribute to where I am today, but the break-up was kind of a swift kick in the rear to get my life put together.
I'm not sure I would ever want anything romantic to happen between us again. I don't want to give him the chance to cause me that much hurt again.
I pity him...
Thank-you for the replies though, they've been a great help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): It is a good thing that you are a forgiving person it shows that you have good heart. I don't know the whole story, but he's feelin the same thing you felt when he breakup with you. "Karma" is strong, he will get over it in time. Trust me that he thinking about how he hard you. Now that the tables turn. People need to go though things, to get though them. So he will be just fine.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 December 2008):
 He treated you like dirt and cheated on you to boot and you want to forgive him?
He is going to keep treating you like a doormat if you let him.
Forgive him if you want, but don't let him back into your life.
Move on, you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, hibiscus  +, writes (26 December 2008):
I think you need to move on and just walk away. The day after you had a miscarriage he dumped you?!!! That's disrespectful and hurtful. The other girl probably dumped him because she found out what a loser he really is. If you try to help him he will only use you.
When you needed him he did not care about you, so now that he "could use you" you should not let him. You will only end up hurt. You are way too precious!
Why would you even toy with the idea of helping him.
Leave him alone and try to find someone who respects and cares about you. Someone who will love you for you
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