A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a short and sweet one - does anyone have any advice on dating an older man?I have recently met a lovely 39 year old man (I am 24) and we have been on a few dates, everything is going great so far and we are getting on really well. The age difference doesnt feel at all obvious, he has never been married or had any kids and his friends are all in their 20's/early 30's so he does act like a much younger man anyway due to his circumstances. I guess the main thing I am concerned with is not appearing too immature (I'm not an immature person anyway but I am more conscious of being mature around him) and not committing any major faux pas around him that I might not even think twice about around a younger man.I am just wondering if anyone has any hints, tips or experiences for dating an older man? There will obviously be some considerations to keep in mind as I cant ignore the 15 years between us, so if anyone has any experience or advice that would be very much appreciated!
View related questions:
immature, older man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, doublejack  +, writes (29 July 2011):
I can provide some perspective from the viewpoint of an older guy who dates younger women. I'm 35 and as recently as six months ago I dated two women who are 22 and 23. The woman I'm courting right now is a little bit closer to my own age, she's 28, but she is obviously still a bit younger and the age gap shows itself in a few areas.
First, the anonymous poster who claims a normal, decent 39 year old man would never want to seriously date a 24 year old woman is mistaken. Now, there are men out there who will use younger women for their own pleasure, and who do not take younger women seriously but just want the arm candy and ego boost... but to claim EVERY guy is like that is wrong. I'm not out to use any of the women I date. I also can assure you I am normal and more than a decent man. I take things slowly, and approach dating with an open mind. I try to get to know a woman before we become intimate or I decide she's not for me. I don't pressure them, or try to buy their affection. I feel that is the right way to date a woman - whether she is younger, older or whatever.
Now then, I specifically seek out women who are a little younger than myself and I do this for various reasons. The biggest one is that I "click" better with women who are younger. My ideal range is the mid to late 20's, but I'm willing to extend that a little bit in either direction depending on the girl. I have dated a few women who were my age or even a little bit older, and there just isn't any chemistry... or the older women want to rush things & move along faster than I'm comfortable with... or they've been married and have their kids, while I'd eventually like to have a family of my own. The bottom line, at least for me, is that I'm more compatible with someone younger than myself.
My best advice is to try to avoid introducing any unnecessary drama into the situation. If there's one area where a younger woman reveals that she's a bit immature yet, it is that she tends to be more dramatic. Little disagreements blow up into bigger situations than they need to be... or there's drama involving friends that almost feels "manufactured" or exaggerated... or drama is created when spontaneity collides with planned outings.
There have been a couple different younger women that I was seeing and liked a lot, but ultimately decided the relationships should end primarily because there was too much drama for my taste. So I suggest you pick your spots. Don't make an issue out of every little thing that bothers you. Don't burden the guy with all of the disagreements you have with your friends, if it's a little thing then filter it out.
It may sound minor, but assuming this guy has a decent amount of dating experience he'll pick up on this. Otherwise, just be yourself! You stated you've been out together a few times and that you feel things are going well... that's a great sign! Just have fun and see where things lead!!
Best of luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): Wait, wait, wait.
Two adults can't date anymore because they aren't the same age? The MAJORITY of relationships involve an age difference of some variety. They always have.
To the original poster:
The only tip you need is... are you attracted to him and are you both not in any relationships?
If those two things line up then go for your life.
Flynn 24
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): A normal, decent 39 year old man would never date a 24 year old woman. You're being used for your youth and beauty. Unless you're milking him for financial stability, or general stability in life, you should look for love elsewhere.
...............................
|
